Following Flames
by ellasaurus
Summary: Catching Fire, the whole book, from Peeta's POV!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hey guys, this is my first fanfiction! This story is Peeta's POV for Catching Fire. I'm really getting into it and i hope it won't take too long to write! Review and comment if you like! I hope to have the next chapter up soon!**

**Chapter One**

Noon is drawing ever closer and I'm still struggling with what I need to say to Katniss. I don't usually find this kind of thing hard but the last time I saw Katniss properly, she broke my heart into a million pieces.

All an act. Every bit of it.

Since then, we've exchanged polite smiles, quiet hello's and always been a safe distance from one another. No eye contact has been made and certainly no touching. I miss the feel of her hand in mine, and her lips brushing my face. I miss playing with her hair as she sleeps and just being able to look at her without being caught out.

I miss her so much and the part that hurts me most is that she won't be missing me…

"Peeta!" Jackson's voice shouts from the oven in the back to where I currently stand behind the till to our bakers.

"What?" I call back, not wanting to leave the front in case a customer comes in.

"Get out. You're just moping. You're no use here. Go home; dad will be here anyway soon." It's true, there hasn't been a customer for a while and I'm not behaving my usual friendly self. I walk out to the back and put my apron on the side.

"Thanks Jack." I pat him on the back as I make my way to the back door, picking up a loaf of bread on the way out, having no intention of going straight home.

However, I do walk into the Victors Village, intending to visit Haymitch before I do anything else to make sure he's not too drunk to face the public.

I get to the front door and hear voices, so knowing that they're probably round the back of the house, I go there too.

The back door is open so I go straight in, hearing the end of a sentence containing my name, "…should have asked Peeta." And there she is. An arm's length away from me and a whole universe away from me.

"Asked me what?" I say, to divert my attention from her. I trudge over to the table and see that whilst Haymitch is up, he appears to be soaking wet. I glance at him questioningly but he ignores it so I place the bread down on the table and extend my hand over to him. He passes me his knife removes his wet shirt.

I reach over to one of the liquor bottles that scatter Haymitch's house and pour it on the knife to clean it.

The surface glints in the light and I wipe it dry on my shirt.

I begin cutting the bread into thick even slices, keeping my attention on the next part to be cut.

When it's done, I turn to her and offer her a piece but she declines politely.

Haymitch picks up on the hostility between us and warns, "Brrr. You two have got a lot of warming up to do before showtime."

As usual, in a surprising way, Haymitch is very right. Katniss doesn't seem to agree though as she parts us, telling Haymitch to take a bath. And then she's gone, out the window and back to her own home.

I want to run to window to watch her walk away but Haymitch is stuffing a slice of bread in his mouth and chewing too loudly that I wouldn't even be able to concentrate on her.

"You should probably do as she says." I motion upstairs to where I know his bathroom is.

"I'll shower on the train. Now clear off out of here. You need to get ready. Have you learnt your speech?" He must know I have other plans for the touring ceremonies.

"Sure, want me to recite it?" I smile to show him I'm joking and walk out the door, much more boring then Katniss' exit.


	2. Chapter 2

Back at home, only my mother remains. I smile at her as I walk in and receive a grimace in return. I sigh hopelessly and go upstairs to my room.

If Haymitch won't take a shower, then I at least should. Even though we have hot running water in the Victors Village, the showers at home are nothing compared to the Capitol's. Lemon foam and flower petals and any shampoo you could think of.

I hop into the shower, leaving my clothes on the floor and my muscles unwind in the hot water. I let out another sigh, but this one sounds more contempt and more me.

As I stand under the water, I think of the time Katniss had washed me to save me. She was comical, as she tried to disguise her disgust at my wounds and although I joked with her about it, I was so grateful for what she did.

She blames herself for my artificial leg but I know that without her, not only would I have no leg, I'd probably be dead in the ground.

I turn the water off and wrap a towel around my torso. I scoop up my clothes as I walk back to my bedroom and I fall onto my bed.

The next few months will be a blur of districts and crowds. We'll have to make our act even more convincing. Shouldn't be tough for me though, I don't have to act.

There's a knock at the door which makes me jump and I am confused for a minute as to why my mother would want to talk to me. Let alone come into my bedroom. She tries to stay away from any of us as much as possible. My mother mystifies me.

But then I realise that I must be Portia. I jump up to open the door and she dazzles me with her smile. She hugs me warmly and then motions for me to follow her downstairs.

"How have you been Peeta? I can just tell you that everyone in the Capitol loves you. Just loves you!" She waves her hands around her in a frenzied motion but she isn't like the other Capitol people. She's sweet and kind and smart.

"I've been good. And yourself Portia? I've missed you!" I grin at her as we go into the living room and she sits me down on the stool.

"Where are Mercury and the others?" I ask her, looking around for my usually excitable prep team.

"I called them off; I knew that there wouldn't be too much to do with you and I was right by the looks of things." She circles me and asks me to stand for her. I am naked now, but I don't feel embarrassed or self-conscious, not in front of Portia. I wonder if Katniss does in front of Cinna, where she is surely doing exactly the same thing as me.

She hands me a robe and pull it on before sitting back down again. "We'll leave your hair to dry naturally and no make up today, so don't worry." She winks at me, knowing I'm not too fond of eye-liner and the likes.

We spend the next half an hour dressing me in simple clothes which as usual, I'm sure will compliment Katniss and we will match.

"It's still snowing out, and you'll be outside for the shot so I have a coat for you." She goes out the door and comes back in again quickly with a massive fur-lined coat in her arms that looks like it weighs 100 pounds!

"Wow. That is something." I say, eyeing the coat sceptically, fashion isn't my thing, it's actually Katniss' talent which I find odd for her but everything she wears looks amazing.

"Come on now, it's only for a while." She shrugs me into the coat and we look at each other for awhile appraisingly before walking through the house to wait outside.

As excepted, the garden is a white forest and it looks beautiful in the light from the cameras and the special effects they have put in place.

I can hear Effie from all the way inside Katniss' house and know what's coming next.

Sure enough, out she walks. Dressed like me in simple clothes under a stunning coat and her hair in her amazing intricate braid down her back.

She is smiling right at me, and I can't help but smile right back, this isn't an act at all and as she walks towards me I forgive her for not feeling the same way as me, I never really held it against her. I love her for her and it doesn't matter what she thinks in return.

Soon she is running towards me and I reach out to grab hold of her, but before I even know it we are spinning, her in my arms, a foot above my head and laughing and smiling and gazing at each other. It's a perfect moment.

Until I slip on the ice underfoot and we fall in the white fluff. But it doesn't matter because then we are kissing, for the first time in what feels like eternity. I don't want to stop but we need to and she pulls me up from the heap on the ground and we link arms, marching together, the star crossed lovers, for our next journey.


	3. Chapter 3

The day is taken up with numerous farewells to my family and Katniss' family as well as our friends in District 12 before we are hurried off to the station by Effie.

We eat a dinner together as usual, back on the train. Me and Katniss are still amazed by the food but Haymitch, Effie, Cinna and Portia eat slowly and create conversation for everyone to take part in.

After the meal, we go our separate ways o rest up for the tour and I am back in my old room. Someone has left paints and brushes on the table and I immediately spot an easel on the other side of the room with a pad of thick artist paper.

I grab all the equipment and start straight away. I paint a grey circle in the middle and outline it with an oval and strokes reaching from it. I am not even aware what I am drawing until the train lurches to a stop. Surely we can't be there already?

I look out the window and see we are stopping to fill up on fuel so I go back to my painting. I realise I have started to paint Katniss' eye. Well really it could be anyone from the Seam's eye, but who else would I paint?

I put more detail into it, making the pupil reflect a figure, at first I wish she could be looking out at me and I am what she sees in her smiling eyes, but I need to be realistic…it's probably Gale.

When I've finished I leave the paper pad open to let the paint dry and I go to bed.

I don't bother to undress because I'm so tired but instead fall straight asleep as I hit the pillow.

I dream of the usual stuff, the Games, and the Reaping and my family being slaughtered and me being tortured. And I dream of Katniss running from me, a look of fear in her eyes and the figure from my painting in the distance. I wake up countless times and realise it's all a dream but somewhere deep inside me I can't help but question my unconscious mind.

I sleep for longer then I thought I would be allowed, usually I'm called at the break of dawn, but this morning I've been issued a lie-in.

However, I'm not the kind of person to wake up and lie in bed so I get up and inspect last night's painting.

I notice that I made some careless mistakes on her eyelashes and the iris' colouring.

But soon enough, Mercury has burst into my room with Francesca and Claudius in tow. They scream and clap as they see me for the firs time in a few months.

"Hey guys." I say, still slightly sleepily.

"Peeta!" Francesca gushes and she grips my arm with a wild grin on her face, I can't help but laugh.

They plunge me into a bath and treat my nails, hair and skin to the point where every part of me seems to shine with cleanliness.

Mercury cuts my hair, but not so much that it is noticeable, and Claudius polishes my skin while Francesca flits about just trying things out on me but soon there's nothing left for them to do and they all clear out.

I walk to the lunch hall and sit next to Portia who is deep in conversation with Effie. Cinna is sitting graciously at the end of the table and Haymitch staggers in after me.

Food is being served and we get into a conversation about our favourite meals ad how they compare to the food from back home. The discussion soon turns to the train and I Cinna comments on how well he sleeps on a moving vehicle. Everyone agrees apart from me, because it would be lying. I seem to have more nightmares on the train then I do in my own bed, maybe it's because it brings back haunting memories of my journey to the Hunger Games.

Katniss comes in by the time we have almost finished, she sits back and plays with her soup, much like Haymitch does with his own food. Something's going on, I am certain but before I can look too much into it, I try and invite her into the conversation. As does everyone else at various points. She one word answers everything and looks back down into her lap.

The train stops again and Effie starts to voice her worries about being behind schedule and she really goes into full blown Effie mode. It might be funny if she wasn't so serious about it.

Effie is mid rant when Katniss snaps right at her. "No-one cares Effie!" I look at her, shocked that she could hurt Effie like that and she looks right back at me, embarrassment flushing her face and storms out, saying "Well no-one does!"

An alarm starts buzzing and I think she must have got off the train so I excuse myself from the table and run after her. Not even sure of what I can say to her yet.

"I'm not in the mood for a lecture." She warns, as I come up behind her on the track.

I sit down beside her and say, "I'll try to keep it brief."

"I though you were Haymitch." She admits, staring intently at some weeds growing in between the wooden tracks. It gives me an idea for a painting.

"No, he's still working on that muffin," I say in an attempt to bring some humour to the conversation, "bad day huh?"

I move my leg to make my sitting position more comfortable. She eyes my leg warily, and I think it must make her uncomfortable and maybe slightly disgusted. I feel ashamed of my leg.

"It's nothing." She sighs.

I breathe in slowly before I say what I've been meaning to say for a while, without actually knowing.

"Look, Katniss, I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. I mean the last train. The one that brought us home. I knew you had something with Gale." I pause for the slightest of seconds so she doesn't sense the hurt in my voice before continuing, "I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry."

She looks taken aback but recovers quickly.

"I'm sorry, too." She murmurs, more to herself then me. She has no reason to be sorry for how she truly feels, as I tell her.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just keeping us alive. But I don't want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in real life and falling into the snow every time there's a camera around. So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, wounded we could just take a shot at being friends." Everything I had said was the truth and as much as it pained me to say it, I knew it would be better this way.

She simply says "Okay".

"So what's wrong?" I ask her, still aware of the prime issue at hand.

She seems tense so I try to lighten the discussion. "Let's start with something more basic. Isn't it strange that I know you'd risk your life to save mine…but I don't know what your favourite colour is?" It works, because soon that smile I've grown to love so much is playing at the edge of her lips.

"Green, what's yours?" Of course hers would be green, it's the colour of trees, and plants and her true home; the forest.

"Orange." I say calmly.

"Orange? Like Effie's hair?" I inwardly laugh.

"A bit more muted," _a lot more muted, _I think to myself, "more like sunset." It's only now I realise the truth of this sentence. Sunset is dazzling, the whole phenomenon let alone the colour.

"You know, everyone is always raving about your paintings. I feel bad I haven't seen them." She looks up into my eyes for the first time we've stepped off the train.

Suddenly I get an idea, "Well I've got a whole train car full. Come on." I get up carefully and hold out my hand. Warmth floods my whole being as she locks her fingers with mine. I feel whole again, cliché I know, but true.

"I've got to apologize to Effie first." She says, guilt flooding her face.

"Don't be afraid to lay it on thick," I say in return, knowing Effie will appreciate the apology.

When we get back inside, it's a wonder that everyone is still seated and chatting. Effie looks disheartened, especially as Katniss walks back in, but she marches straight over to Effie and gives her sorry. She really milks it but I can see Effie is thankful.

She returns back to me and I walk her down the corridor to my room. I hesitate, hand on the doorknob, unsure whether to warn her about the paintings but instead I open the door and show her the first painting I ever did when I returned home.


	4. Chapter 4

She stares at it, halfway between shock and repulse I think. Then she looks at the surrounding ones and her facial expression changes even more. She looks absolutely horrified by some. I have to ask.

"What do you think?"

"I hate them." I smile; this was actually the response I wanted. It means she feels what I felt when I painted them. "All I do is going around trying to forget the arena and you've brought it back to life. How do you remember these things so exactly?" She asks me in awe.

"I see them every night." I tell her truthfully. She probably has the same nightmares as me, well maybe not; I doubt she dreams of losing me.

"Me too." She's dropped her usual defences and is letting me in, a special occasion for her. "Does it help? To paint them out?"

I tell her that I'm not sure and that they'll never leave me.

"So you really hate them?" I am honestly curious to know her full feelings.

"Yes. Bu they're extraordinary. Really. Want to see my talent? Cinna did a great job on it!" Of course! I knew Katniss wasn't one for clothes and fashion, it made sense that Cinna would help her out.

"Later." I say as I notice that we are now in District 11 as it flashes past our windows. I tell her and we hurry to the back of the train to get a good look.

"That's something different." I state, taking in the absolute authority that seems to surround the whole District. Every field, as far as the eye can see looks like it is totally bordered by barbed wire and watch towers are dotted everywhere. It looks so much harsher then our own District and I silently thank the stars for old Cray.

There are so many people, and so much land and I can't escape the look of poverty everywhere I turn. I am amazed by the sheer size of the place. "How many people do you think live here?"

Katniss just shakes her head.

Effie arrives after a while and pulls us away from the never ending District before our eyes.

My prep team and Portia ready me for our opening ceremony and I practise my own speech in my head.

I am wearing an orange shirt and I can't help think of it as ironic seeing as me and Katniss had just talked about this gorgeous colour. I think of how she might like in my favourite colour, drop-dead stunning no doubt.

Effie runs over the plan for the ceremony and soon we are ushered off the train, into a truck, into 11's Justice Building and then finally we're on the veranda at the front.

I grab Katniss' left hand and we smile proudly as we walk out. A loud applause welcomes us, nothing that we are used to, especially considering the amount of people gathered here.

Directly before us are two sets of people, I know these to be District 11's tribute's families. Thresh's side looks very empty with only two people standing solemnly on it and on the other side is Rue's. I look at Katniss and see her trying to restrain from showing any feeling and my heart goes to her. She looks so helpless as she looks at one of Rue's sisters in particular.

We are given a bunch of flowers each by two small girls and then I start to speak to the people before me. I have to read the prepared speech written by the Capitol that is said every year hut then afterwards I add my own piece.

"Both of your District's tributes made it to the final eight with us. They both helped keep Katniss alive," I squeeze her hand at this, "and I am therefore so grateful to them and we are both in a debt we can never repay." Now's the big finale. "It can in no way replace your loses, but as a token of our thanks we'd like for each of the tributes' families from District 11 to receive one month of our winnings every year for the duration of our lives." I intake a sharp breath as I finish and step back.

The reaction of the crowd is puzzling, they gasp and whisper, probably surprised as this is the first time something like this has happened.

The families before me look at me and I know that without words, I have made them very happy indeed.

Katniss looks at me in shock and questioning and I smile sadly at her. She kisses me quickly and I know that she too is thanking me.

We are both presented with a plaque and he thanks us once again.

"Wait!" Katniss stammers and removes her hand from mine. She walks to the microphone and gives her own speech. I look at her and am just so happy to be with her, this is something I could never have dreamed of.

She speaks beautifully and personalises her speech, looking at both families as she talks about their children. I am so proud of her.

She steps back and before she has a chance to walk away, an old man walks forward from the crowd and whistles a four not melody. It sounds familiar to me and I recognise it as the song Rue taught Katniss, I know it from watching the reruns of the games thousands of times.

Then, something even more amazing happens. Every single persona as far as the eye can see has raised their three fingers to their lips and are raising them up to Katniss. I want to join in, but it seems like something between just Katniss and the whole of District Eleven.

I smile thankfully at the audience and they cheer us once more. I take Katniss' hand back and we walk off stage. She seems to wobble slightly and I ask her if she's okay.

"Just dizzy. The sun was so bright." She looks at my flowers and looks at her own empty hands, "I forgot my flowers."

I offer to retrieve them for her but she declines and I go with her instead.

I immediately pull back as I see what's happening. The old man has been harshly pulled from his place and is being pushed into a kneeling position by a few Peacekeepers. I know what's going to happen before it does. I wish I could cover Katniss' eyes, or go back in time and pick up her flowers as we had first left the stage.

The bullet flies before I even have time to finish my train of thoughts and Katniss just gasps.

She pulls forward but I grab her elbow, but I didn't need to because a group of fierce looking Peacekeepers are descending on us, pushing us back to where we came from. They are pushing Katniss cruelly and I push her behind me.

"We're going!" I shout at them to make them back off. The one shoving me doesn't give up though I shove him right back. He staggers a bit. "We get it, alright? Come on Katniss!" She looks panic stricken so I hold her to me and push us back inside.

Haymitch, Portia, Cinna and Effie are waiting nervously just inside the doors and they all look at us, searching for some answers.

"What happened?" Effie gets to us first, "We lost the feed just after Katniss' beautiful speech, and then Haymitch said he thought he heard gunfire, and I said it was ridiculous but who knows? There are lunatics everywhere!" She's in a right state and I would help her calm down but I just need to clear the suspicion.

"Nothing happened, Effie. An old truck backfired," I say calmly, doing my best to hide what really happened.

Suddenly two more shouts echo through the walls and I know Haymitch has seen through my lie. He cocks his head to one side before ordering us to follow him.

He leads us down a maze of complicated doors and corridors and then snatches the microphones from us and finally leads us up a ladder into what appears to be some kind of loft.

There's dust everywhere and lots of bric-a-brac like books and lamps and what not.

"What happened?" He questions.

I tell him everything that happened; after all it's not wise to hide things from Haymitch. "What's going on, Haymitch?" I finish off.

"It will be better coming from you." At first I think he's talking to me and I am utterly confused but then I see he is looking directly next to me at Katniss who has been quite the whole time.

And then it all comes spilling out.


	5. Chapter 5

She tells me that President Snow popped in on a visit, the fact that other districts have been showing signs of a rebellion, that she kissed Gale. That part doesn't even hurt me like I thought it would, it's just another secret she's kept from me. They both have. And even more follows, our final moments in the arena spurred on the rebels in the districts, especially the berries. She looks physically ill as she draws to a close and I can't help but speak out.

"Then I made things worse too, by giving the money." Anger bubbles up inside me, threatening to spill over so I take it out on a lamp near to me. I smash it into the furthest wall and watch as it's glass shatters daintily. "This has to stop! Right now. This – this – game you two play where you tell each other secrets but keep them from me like I'm too inconsequential or stupid or weak to handle them." I realise the whole thing turned into a rant on my behalf just after I've finished.

"It's not like that Peeta-" and just those words send me back into my rant.

"It's exactly like that! I have people I care about too Katniss! Family and friends back in District 12 who will be just as dead as yours if we don't pull this thing off! SO after all we went through in the arena, don't I even rate the truth form you?" I'm really shouting at her, right in her face but she has the confidence not to look threatened or scared but Haymitch interrupts whatever she might have been about to say.

"You are so reliably good, Peeta. So smart about how you present yourself in front of the cameras. I didn't want to disrupt that."

I come right back and shout him down. I don't need to be complimented! They're just trying to please me in the hope that I'll calm down. Well thank God that I'm modest!

I grab a statue and throw that too.

We continue arguing until Haymitch says what I've been waiting for the whole time.

"From now on you'll be fully informed." He seems honest enough, but I am still unsure whether he is to be trusted.

"I better be." I warn and I storm out of the room. I am so embarrassed of my behaviour, especially in front of Katniss that I can't bear to be near her.

He afternoon is occupied by more preparation for tonight's dinner and I spend more time in the company of my stylists.

I think over the events of the day and try to come up with alternative things I could have down to avoid the worst parts. But it's useless trying to change the past. It's stuck like that.

Before I even know it, we're entering the hall for the dinner and Katniss is next to me, looking spectacular as always.

Our hands find each other as we wait to descend the stairs and whisper to her my apology. And then I have to ask her the burning question.

"Was that really the only time you kissed Gale?" I want to look away from her so she won't see my reaction but there's a chance that I might miss an important expression on her face.

"Yes."

I inwardly let out a sigh of relief and notify her that we should go.

The night is like all the others that follow. A dinner, talking, the occasional dance, and then we're back on the train going to another district. Travelling night and day and then speaking to crowds of people, facing the families of those we personally killed. Back to our lonely cabins a night.

But that doesn't last for long because Katniss is changing, she's sullen and quiet and she's constantly losing weight. It scares me and one night as I walked the corridors of the moving train, my mind to busy to sleep, I hear her screaming.

Without thinking I had burst into her room and woken her. She just started at me, her eyes an unknown void and I knew she needed company. I clambered into bed with her and wrapped my arms around her fragile body. Whilst for her, it was some warmth and reassurance in the night, for me it was bliss. I watched her sleep and I stroked her hair and kissed her nose and cheeks.

It began happening every night soon, and she started embracing me back. Her body and mine become one and it was such an amazing feeling that in the mornings I just didn't want to leave.

After an endless amount of time, we arrive back in the Capitol and the ceremonies are much less hard work. We effortlessly convince people we are happily in love and they willingly believe it all.

We are back in our rooms in the Capitol from last year when Katniss says something I'd never thought I'd hear.

"Peeta," she broaches the subject carefully, I look up and raise an eyebrow, "I thing you should propose to me on TV." Her face is emotionless and I just nod and leave the room.

I walk into my room and lay on my bed. I think this is everything I could have wanted, but somehow it's just nothing like what I dreamed of. It's forced and unreal. It's bound to be a dead marriage.

But then I start to think of a way I can do it and I realise with some happiness that tonight is our interview with Ceasar Flickerman. I make plans to do it tonight.

And I do.

I do it the traditional way, I get down on one knee and I hold her hand and I kiss it over and over as I tell her everything of my feelings for her. To her it's probably just a dribble but to me, it's everything I have ever wanted to tell her.

Katniss, of course, accepts and I sweep her up and we kiss. Ceasar is in hysterics, and on the verge of tears and the crowd. Well the crowd is its usual self, times 100.

And to finish it all off, President Snow walks out. Even though I've never personally spoken to him, I've grown to hate the man, after all he did threaten to kill everyone I love as well as my now fiancé.

He congratulates us and as he hugs Katniss I just want to pull him off her, he shouldn't be anywhere near her but of course, I can't exactly do that.

His banter with us and the audience is somewhat sickening but we both play along, Katniss is for once better then I and I can only think of one thing that would encourage her to behave this way. Her sister back at home.

As the show ends, for the first time I feel fear of what is to come, because clearly this man who puts on a better front then even I, is dangerous beyond imagination.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**** Hey guys! I was really happy that I got comments within the first hour I put it up! Thank you guys! I'm not getting tired of it yet although it is hard, because I'm really wanting to get to the Quell because that's the most interesting part but I'm going to have to struggle through these first parts first!**

**Carry on reading and reviewing! It means sooooo much! :D**

The Capitol's dinner party was of course much more extravagant then any of the other Districts could pull off and even though I hate to admit it, it was much more enjoyable.

Absolutely everything had been thought of, chairs for the stern, sofas for the friendly, fires for the bubbly, and the gardens for the cold-hearted. And the food. Well, there was nothing like it.

It seemed to be everywhere, the food I mean. And Katniss seemed to notice as well, who couldn't?

"I want to try everything in the room." She exclaims, she looks happier then I've seen her in a long time and I don't understand why.

"Then you'd better pace yourself," I tell her in return.

"Okay, no more then one bite of each dish." I think to myself that I'm lucky enough to be with her right now so I should be as happy as she appears to be. And I promise myself that I will enjoy the rest of the evening.

Everyone wants to talk to us throughout the evening, in fact many of them take the time to show Katniss their various accessories which have the mockingjay emblem she wears on her pin imprinted on them. It's a strange sight but Katniss seems to be fretting over it so I pull her onto the next guest over and over again.

We are standing at one fine table when three, almost scary looking people, appear beside us. They can only be Katniss' prep team. They look worse then mine!

"Why aren't you eating?" Asks a rather plump woman holding a prawn to her lips.

"I have been, but I can't hold another bite." They all laugh hysterically and it makes me jump slightly. These people are odd.

"No-one lets that stop them!" Says a man with orange hair so curly and long that I first mistook him to be a woman. "Drink this!" He points a glass out to us.

Daringly, I reach out and pick it up and I am just pressing it to my lips when the first woman shrieks, "Not here!"

"You have to do it in there," says a tall and skinny woman, pointing to the bathroom, "Or you'll get it all over the floor!"

I look, puzzled, at the glass and then I add two and two together. "You mean this will make me puke?" I ask, rather aware of the mountains of this liquid just next to me.

They laugh at me, so loudly that a few heads turn around us to look at what's going on. "Of course, so you can keep eating! I've been in there twice at least," she cries, not sparing me the details, "Everyone does it, or how else would you have any fun at a feast?"

I carefully place the glass back down on the exact spot I picked it from and remove my hand eagerly.

"Come on Katniss, let's dance." I pull Katniss away from the drinks and close my arms around her as we reach the huge dance floor.

We barely move, as the music surrounds us but it suits me just fine. I smell her hair and caress her back with my hands.

"You go along, thinking you can deal with it, thinking maybe they're not so bad and then you-" I have to stop myself, remembering my promise to enjoy the evening. There will be other times to discuss this.

But she seems to want to talk about it, so who am I to deny her that right? "Peeta, they bring us here to fight to the death for their entertainment. Really, this is nothing by comparison." Her voice is melancholy.

"I know. I know that. It's just sometimes I can't stand it any more. To the point where…I'm not sure what I'll do." I don't know whether to carry on or not. I decide on the first. I lower my voice though. "Maybe we were wrong Katniss."

"About what?" She asks me, her eyes searching mine for an answer.

"About trying to subdue things in the districts." I say evenly. And I realise my mistake. She looks around to see if anyone overheard and so do I. "Sorry."

"Save it for home." She tells me sharply.

Portia comes up behind me with a man who I vaguely recognise.

"Katniss, Peeta, this is Plutarch Heavensbee, the new Head Gamemaker." He nods politely.

"Pleased to meet you," I say, offering my hand which he warmly shakes.

"Could I steal Katniss for a dance, Mr Mellark?" I am very wary of this man but I can't say no so I step back and walk to the side of the floor with Portia.

"What do you think?" Portia asks me quietly.

"He's a Gamemaker, no worse, he's the Head Gamemaker, I have nothing but a hatred for him." I sound quite rude but Portia must understand because she nods solemnly. She pats my arm before walking away to find Cinna.

Plutarch is stepping away from Katniss and he seems to be showing her something but I don't see what it is because Mercury has pulled me into the crowd to meet some of her friends.

I break away from them though, as soon as I see a beautiful sight.

Right across from me is a table, on top lies hundreds of decorated cakes. They are marvellous and their detailing so precise. Suddenly, three men are next to me, showing me their work and telling me how they did the flower petals and the writing.

"Could you box some up for me?" I ask, wanting to take them home to look at in further detail. They hurry off, almost tripping to get them back to me quickly.

Katniss is with me then and soon so is Effie. We bid goodbye to everyone and leave the building without much fuss and even sooner, we are back on the train and we are returning home.

Home, something I haven't thought of the two months we have been away. It's a welcoming thought and I can't wait to see my family again but I know it means leaving Katniss once again.


	7. Chapter 7

Haymitch sends us all to bed and I do go at first but it gets too quiet so I sneak into Katniss' room and even though she is sleeping soundly, surely she won't begrudge be one night for my comfort.

In the morning, I'm already awake where she opens her eyes.

"No nightmares." I tell her happily.

"What?" She aks.

"You didn't have any nightmares last night."

She accepts this and tells me about the dream she did have last night, it's upsetting but it's not a nightmare.

"Peeta, how come I never know when you're having a nightmare?" She leans up in bed.

"I don't know. I don't think I cry out or anything. I just come to, paralysed with terror." I know this probably doesn't make sense to her but it does to me.

"You should wake me." She says sternly.

"It's not necessary. My nightmares are usually about losing you. I'm okay once I realise you're here." It doesn't embarrass me to tell her my true feelings anymore but I know it makes her feel uncomfortable. I should probably stop doing it.

Our final ceremony is in District 12 with our friends and family, for this I am grateful. It will be in the Mayor's house which I have never been in but am interested to see.

The usual routine which I have gotten so used to I could probably do it myself is repeated in one of the guest rooms in the house and my prep team are still talking about the Capitol party.

It's a nice dinner, not too formal but still fancy and we all enjoy it quite a lot. But to be honest, I'm happy the whole tour is over now.

I leave with my family, not getting a chance to say goodbye to Katniss but I am too caught up in seeing everyone.

My father, Jackson and my other brother, Leo are dressed in smart suits that I've never seen before and my mother in a floral dress. It doesn't suit her.

The next few days are a blur of working in the bakery and lounging around at home, this is my life now for the next month or so until the next Games.

Ugh. The next Games, where I'll no doubt have to mentor a boy who will die in brutality. Great.

I can't stay home and mope around any longer so I decide to go into town as I am supposed to be meeting my family there soon anyway, so just as I'm leaving the Victors Village, Katniss comes bounding up to me. I don't even try to suppress the smile on my face.

But then I see the game in her hand and remember the law against it. "Been hunting?" I say, eyeing it.

"Not really. Going to town?" She asks me.

I tell her about dinner and she accompanies me down the slope to the bustling town.

She breaks the silence after a while, "Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me would you?"

Her question totally takes me by surprise, I stop her from walking on to check if she's serious.

"Depends on why you're asking." I tell her.

She tells me about an uprising in District 8.

"By 'we', do you mean jus you and me? No," I wish though, "Who else would be going?"

She tells me without mentioning Gale and I agree, knowing it won't happen.

She storms off when I tell her I think she won't do it but I halt her to a stop. Something is going on in the town, I look down curiously.

When we reach the growing crowd, I stand up on a crate to get a better look at what is going on. I give my hand to her to help her up too. But then I see why everyone is here. Before I can even comprehend the scene before my eyes, I yell at her to get down and go home.

She tries to climb back up but I push her down. "Go home, Katniss! I'll be there in a minute, I swear!"

She gives up on me and forces her way though the murmuring crowd.

I jump off the crate quickly and follow her, my leg slowing me down though.

From the crate I had seen Gale hung limply on a post, his hands tied and his back bare. Whip lashes scarred his back and a scary river of blood was tumbling down the rocks at his feet.

I break into the clearing by the platform where Gale is just as the whip is coming down, and Katniss throws herself in front of his body and then it slaps across her face and I all I feel is fury.

Blood is already seeping from her cut and I hurry to get to her but Haymitch beats me. He's raging at the Peacekeeper, pulling Katniss up by the arm.

I finally haul myself up the platform and I grab her other arm as carefully as possible.

"What business is it of hers anyway?" The man holding the whip snarls at us.

"He's her cousin. And she is my fiancée." I say with finality but I am just dying to punch this man into the ground. But I have to be strong for Katniss. "So if you want to get to him, expect to go through the both of us."

The Peacekeeper gets into a confrontation with another one and ends up walking off but not before splattering us in blood as he coils his whip. I resist the urge to wipe a drop from Katniss' hair.

Katniss pulls free of mine and Haymitch's grip and runs to Gale, trying to untie him. I get a knife and cut his hands free.

With the help of some others we carry Gale on a market table all the way back to Katniss' home so her mother can heal him.

I am aware of Katniss' worry for him and it makes me slightly jealous but now is not the time, because not only is Gale severely hurt so is she.

She pats snow onto her lash and I can't help but thinking it will scar.

A few of the men fill us in on what happened before we arrived. It sounded bad. Over 40 whippings.

Mrs Everdeen is on to Gale before we even lay him down. She clears everyone away apart from a few of us and her and Prim start their work.

It's quite literally magical. They are so quick and precise that I am mesmerised.

Gale's mother turns up soon and she takes the chair by his side. I feel slightly out of place seeing as me and Gale are hardly friends but I'm here to support Katniss.

Katniss starts to shout at her mother when she refuses to give him stronger medicine and she creates quite a scene but she doesn't care. She's really going for it but her mother just asks us to take her from the room.

Me and Haymitch hoist her up and lift her out of the room. We lay her on her bed and whilst leaving I tell Haymitch of her plans to run away. He smirks as we head back downstairs.

Katniss returns later and the door rings although it's absurd for anyone to be out in this weather. We all go to the door and I personally am shocked to see Madge there with a box in her hands.

She begs Mrs Everdeen to use it for Gale before running back down the path.

Inside are several vials, "What is it?" I ask as she expertly injects them into Gale's arm.

It's getting late and she tells us to go home even after I offer to stay so I trudge out the back door with my hood firmly wrapped around my head. I am just about to go inside my own house when I hear Haymitch grumble behind me, "Busy day, eh?"

His laugh echoes eerily off the trees.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**** Sorry that last chapter was mainly the book, which was pretty boring to write but I haven't lost interest yet, hope you haven't either! ;)**

After sleeping for a few hours on the couch downstairs I decide I should go back and relieve Katniss from the chair so she can get some sleep.

I pick up a few loaves that my father brought home from the bakery on the way out the door and walk through the snow to her house.

It's getting even thicker, so much so that I've never seen it like this.

I go in via the back door and find Katniss asleep, hunched over and her face lying on the cloth that cloaks the table Gale lies on. Their hands are interlocked so tightly that it looks sore, it hurts _me_.

I place the loaves down and shake Katniss' shoulder, she moves sleepily and notices her hand is tied to Gale's.

"Go on up to bed Katniss. I'll look after him now."

"Peeta. About what I said yesterday, about running-"

I cut her off, "I know. There's nothing to explain."

She looks at my face and I try to mask my pain but I doubt I'm doing a good job of it.

"Peeta…" her voice is soft and caressing.

"Just go to bed, okay?" So she gets up and separates her hand. I watch her walk into the hallway and hear her pad up the stairs.

I settle into the chair and place my forehead where her cheek had just rested. It was still warm.

"I hope you're not planning on holding my hand too." His raspy voice made me sit up straight. His eyes were still closed so you'd never even know he was awake.

"How's your back?" I ask, trying to keep the unfriendliness out of my voice.

"Just great." He murmurs and then doesn't say anything a while so neither do I.

"She's going to chose you, you know." His voice is less raspy now, probably meaning the medicine is wearing off. I take a minute to decipher what he has just said.

"And what makes you say that?" I am genuinely curious.

"I can tell. She's readable. I think she'd have once liked to think of me as her partner." He pauses, letting his voice rest a minute before going on, "But now you've swooped in. She'll fall for you eventually." He doesn't even sound nasty or spiteful, just tired, very tired.

"I don't think so." I lean back in the chair and twiddle my thumbs.

"Oh don't be modest. Think of what you have that I don't. Money, victory, words." Now his eyes are open and they look sad, the grey reminding me so much of Katniss who lies totally unaware upstairs.

"Katniss isn't like that, and you know it, she doesn't care about money, she cares about nothing to do with love. She tries to focus on the more important things at hand." I want to stop the conversation now; it will only get out of hand.

"No she isn't like that, you're right but she does have this situation on her mind. I see it in her eyes every time she's with me or you. Just wait and see Peeta, we'll see who's right in the end and I'm betting on you." And then he closes his eyes and seems to fall back asleep.

Moments later, as I'm still recovering from this very interesting but short conversation, Prim walks into the room.

"Morning, Peeta." She greets me.

"Hey, Prim." Her mother follows in behind her.

"Ah more bread, thank you Peeta, that's very kind." I wave off her thanks nonchalantly.

Upstairs I hear the shower start, meaning Katniss is up, I look up warily and know I cannot face her yet.

"I'll leave you to work your magic powers," I joke and make a hocus pocus gesture in the air which Prim giggles at and then I leave.

Outside it's a total blizzard and I stomp through the snow as quickly as possible.

"Peeta! Where have you been?" My father shouts as I come in and shake the snow off my coat.

"I went to Katniss', to check on Gale." I tell him.

"And how is he?" He asks me in return, my father is a very caring man.

"Good, I think. He's in good hands to say the least." My father's eyes cloud over, as they always do when I mention Mrs Everdeen and he turns away.

"Did you take some bread over?" He says to change the topic.

"Yes, they said thanks." I walk through the kitchen and sit next to Leo who is watching the TV.

"Alright?" He says, turning to me.

I grunt and he leaves me be.

I sit for a while and just stare at the burning fire in front of me, remembering the countless times I've had to face fire; in the arena, via costumes, the bakery,…Katniss.

The phone ringing pulls me out of my reverie and I jump up to get it.

Her voice talks into my ear as if she's right next to me.

"Hey, I just wanted to make sure you got home."

"Katniss, I live three houses away from you."

"I know, but with the weather and all…"

"Well I'm fine, thank you for checking," and ask the question that is polite to ask, "How's Gale?"

We talk for a minute about his condition and then about Haymitch. She says she wants to talk to us and we arrange to meet after the blizzard dies down.


	9. Chapter 9

Katniss calls two days later and we arrange to go into town, collecting Haymitch along the way.

On the way down, Katniss dumps her plan for running away and tells us she plans to do exactly the opposite.

"I want to start an uprising." She says matter-of-factly.

They argue for a while until we get into the town square and take in he drastic changes.

Tens of Peacekeepers parade the square and are busy assembling guns on buildings and adding the finishing touches to the various execution devices that are lined up outside the Justice Building.

"Thread's a quick worker," he says, stating the obvious.

To our left, we see the Hob has gone up in flames. We are speechless.

Haymitch hobbles off to find some remaining liquor and me and Katniss walk off to visit Hazelle, Gale's mother. She say's the mine's been closed down which isn't surprising because of the weather and so has her laundry business but she claims that's because no-one has anything to wash.

We leave soon after and walk down to see the last of the Hob, hand in hand.

Afterwards, we visit my father in the bakery and finally return home.

For a while, the weather doesn't calm and the mines remain closed but Gale leaves Katniss' house and goes home and me and Katniss work together to pool our liquor for Haymitch.

And then for a while, I don't see Katniss as much as I would like so I go back to work in the bakery and start painting again. I missed it all the time I've been home and I just haven't got round to starting again.

I find inspiration everywhere; the forest, the town, my house, my memories. Everything can be captured by a picture, and then kept there forever.

The feeling I get when finishing a painting that's taken forever to do, is such great accomplishment that I have to show whoever is in the house and if it's no-one then I take it to Haymitch who probably doesn't care when he's sober let alone drunk.

I tried chalk a few times, one of my favourites was on a black card and I drew Katniss in a wedding gown. With the marriage plans being made it was nice to be able to do something positive for it. Maybe the picture can be put on the invites, I'd like that.

I go to Katniss' house with Haymitch one evening to talk about the Peacekeepers with her but she's not there when we show up. Prim says she's gone to see the goat man. I remember the time Katniss told me the story of how she got Prim's goat, one of my fonder memories of my time in the arena.

It seems ironic that two Peacekeepers show up after a while looking for Katniss seeing as we were planning on talking about their motives. It scares me that they won't tell us why they're here but need to talk to her first, but they wait patiently.

Two hours or so later and me and Haymitch are playing chess when she returns home, thankfully with just a bag in her hand but then I realise what could be in that bag and I'm ready to try and take the blame for her, no matter how hard it might be to do so.

"Can I help you with something?" She says confidently, so I'm pretty sure she's got nothing to hide in the bag.

"May we ask where you've been Miss Everdeen?" the woman Peacekeeper asks her instead of answering her question.

"Easier to ask where I haven't been," she's joking with them but they don't seem the joking type. I laugh to myself and make my next move.

Haymitch asks where she hasn't been. He takes my bishop.

Then her and Prim get into an argument about where Prim said the goat man would be. It was quite funny because Katniss was wrong, but she sounded so sure of herself.

"It was definitely the East," I chip in, not being able to help myself. Me and Haymitch laugh together. She glares at me until I stop. "I'm sorry, but it's what I've been saying. You don't listen to people when they talk to you."

Haymitch has to comment again and she tells him to shut up, confirming that we were right. We both laugh again and Prim smiles in triumph.

It seems however, that the woman has become bored of our banter so she gets back to the issue at hand, "What's in the bag?"

"See for yourself." Says Katniss calmly.

I get up from my rocking chair and come to the table to see what was in the bag, there's cloth and sweets and a few other bits and bobs.

"Ooh peppermints," I pop one into my mouth and chuck it to Haymitch before she can get it out of my hands. He takes a considerably larger amount then me and gives to rest to Prim who lets out her cute giggle.

"None of you deserves sweets!" Katniss says in mock disgust.

"What because we're right?" I joke along with her and wrap my arms around her from behind. She yelps in pain and I let go. Something's wrong with her, I check her up and down to see if I can tell what. She tries to shrug it off, clearly not wanting the Peacekeepers to know so I play along too.

We kiss for a moment and then she remember the Peacekeepers awkwardly standing in the room, very out of place in our friendly banter

"You have a message for me?" She addresses them.

"From Head Peacekeeper Thread, he wanted you to know that the fence around District 12 will now have electricity twenty-four hours a day."

She plays it exactly right, "Didn't it already?"

They tell her to pass the message onto Gale rather threateningly but she just laughs it off with another sarcastic comment and they leave. As soon as they're gone I ask her what's wrong.

I help her over to my chair and she tells us she hurt her foot and tailbone. I look at her with concern and disbelief when she says it happened falling on some ice. She was out hunting, of course and we all knew it.

Her mother treats her foot and looks at her tailbone which is just bruised and she is soon dismissed to bed, I take her up.

She's hobbling on one foot and I can't stand to see her struggle so I carry her up the stairs and land her on the bed. She laughs as I tuck her in bid her goodnight.

She grabs my hand with surprising force as I'm about to leave. "Don't go yet. Not until I fall asleep." She pleads.

I sit down on the bed, it probably being too much to climb in with her no matter how much I want to. I chaff her hand in my mine until its rosy red with warmth. "Almost thought you'd changed your mind today. When you were late for dinner." She knows I'm talking about her running off…with Gale.

"No, I'd have told you. Stay with me." Her hand squeezes mine gently and I know she's almost asleep so I whisper back, "Always."


	10. Chapter 10

The next day I come back to check on Katniss and we end up looking at her family book which is full of information about plants and herbal remedies. She asks me to draw the diagrams for her and I do, as she eats the cheese buns I brought her especially because I know they're her favourite.

It turns into a daily routine, I draw and she writes the facts and information about the plant. It's interesting because I learn so much as well as being able to spend time with her and doing my favourite hobby, so really it's great for me.

One day, I catch her looking at me intently as I'm colouring a pink blossom and I look up immediately, she starts and looks away embarrassed. _I know that feeling,_ I think to myself and then I remember what Gale said. But I try not to hope for that too much so

say instead, "You know, I think this is the first time we've ever done anything normal together."

"Yeah…nice for a change."

In the afternoons, we go downstairs and chat with her mother, or sit in the garden and once we iced some cakes together but usually she's staring at the TV, as if waiting for something.

Back at home, me and Leo will serve at the bakery and Jackson will cook in the back with my father. Mother doesn't come into the shop a lot but when she does it's usually to order everyone around, which gets annoying.

However, one particular evening she comes in just as we are closing up, telling us to get home because there's mandatory viewing tonight.

We all rush home after that, mother leading the way up to the Victors Village. Father lights the fire as soon as we get in and we position ourselves on the sofa.

I turn the TV on and we are greeted by Ceasar Flickerman who is talking to Cinna about the wedding. And then there are pictures floating across the screen. Pictures that hurt my eyes they are so beautiful.

In every one Katniss is smiling and laughing and posing in numerous gorgeous wedding gowns. My father's eyes well up and Leo nudges me and winks, which annoys me a bit but Jackson and mother couldn't seem to care less, just wanting him to get to the point.

He says that votes need to be cast by noon tomorrow for the deciding vote. How odd that Katniss can't chose her own wedding dress, how unfair really but I doubt she really cares anyway.

"So that's what we all rushed home fo-" Jackson is cut off.

"Stay tuned! That's right, this year is the Seventy-Fifth Anniversary of the Hunger Games, and that means it's time for our third quarter quell!" Ceasar hollers out.

"Oh God. I totally forgot." Groans my father.

"Wow, this should be interesting." Leo says, but doesn't look too pleased.

Jackson stays quiet and mother just lets out a sigh, "I remember the last one. Twice the number of tributes." She shivers. It's very unlike my mother to show emotion but clearly the second quell is something she'd rather not remember.

"It's only the reading of the card," I say, "how bad can it be?"

**A/N** **Okay so that was a short one, but I just had to end it there. It seemed rather humorous **


	11. Chapter 11

We all know it can be awful because it gives months for people to worry about it and usually I wouldn't joke about something like this but the mood in our living room is not great and the moment and we don't need any other reasons to act like the dysfunctional family we are.

"Oh, I'd say pretty bad." Jackson says grudgingly.

The Capitol's national anthem alerts our attention back to the TV though and out steps President Snow. My family appears to be on the edge of their seats, waiting to hear what a man, 75 years ago, wrote down to enforce maximum punishment to the tributes.

He talks about the Quarter Quells before doing his usual annual speech and then refreshes our memories of what happened in the past two Quells.

"And now we honour our third Quarter Quell." A small boy brings forward a box, which I assume contains the Quell ideas. He lifts an envelope with 75 printed on the front and pulls the paper out quickly. He reads it out straight away, not one to faff around. "On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."

Jackson understands it first and he falls back hopelessly into his armchair. I get it next. Oh I get it alright.

I cover my face with my hands and I think what this means. It means that out of the three remaining victors of District 12, two of us will be going back into the arena.

And guaranteed to be going in, no matter what, is Katniss.

**A/N ****Had to be a short one! It's one of the most dramatic scenes! **


	12. Chapter 12

"Peeta?" My father is kneeling in front of me, his hand on my knee comfortingly.

I remove my hands from my face steadily, and face him.

"It might not be you. Think about it. There's a 50/50 chance." _Oh no,_ I'm thinking, _that's where you're wrong dad. It will be me because no matter what…I will go in to that arena again. To do what I did the last time, to protect the woman I love._

But I can't even humour my father so instead I get up and silently walk out of the room. I hear my mother say as I open the front door, "She's going in. And he knows it." She doesn't even sound concerned.

I hurry as fast as I can to Haymitch's house, determined to get there before Katniss can even consider it.

I know exactly what I'm going to do and I just need Haymitch to agree to it and then I'll be fine, I'll take it in my stride.

I don't even bother knocking; I just barge in and find him sprawled out on the sofa in front of the TV, just reaching for the bottle. I stomp in and grab it out of reach; I hold it above his head so I know I have his attention.

"Haymitch, you have to let me go back in. You have to." I don't care if I sound pathetic or I have to get on my knees and beg him to let me, I just need to do this.

"I knew this would be coming. Just knew it." There's no point in me not giving him the bottle, he's already as drunk as usual.

"Haymitch, think about it, you won't have to go back in! I'm making sure that you won't! Come on! I need to protect her! Please. Haymitch you have to understand. You can't volunteer for me. Swear to me you won't!"

He just looks at me blankly and seems to be thinking about things in his head so I carry on. I tell him that I'll listen to him no matter what, and that I'll never ask anything of him again.

"Shut up for a minute." He barks and gets up unsteadily to stand in front of me.

"Why should I let you have your way again? You know she'll come here as well, begging me to take your place." This hadn't occurred to me, she wouldn't care who she goes in with, surely.

"Because last time, you chose her." He lets out a heavy sigh and sits back down again; I follow his actions and slump onto the cushion next to me.

"Okay Peeta, you can go in. I owe you that. But you do listen to me okay?" He seems tired out by this exchange so I nod slowly and thank God that he's let me get my way finally.

I get up wordlessly and leave, walking back to my own home in the silence of the night.

Strangely, I actually go to sleep that night and it's without nightmares. I wake up, no fear in my stomach and no sadness weighing me down, just powered by the thought of protecting Katniss again.

I don't want to talk to my family about it yet though, so I head back over to Haymitch's house without making a noise so as not to wake them.

He's asleep in the position he was when I left him last night and I don't bother waking him because for what I'm about to do, it's better that he's asleep.

I start downstairs, searching high and low for any bottles I can find, I come away with around twenty or so. They all go down the sink. Each makes a satisfying glug as they pool down the drain.

Then I move upstairs, retrieving them all in a cardboard box I find on the stairs. There's even more up here, scattered in his bedroom and even in the bathroom . I hear him getting up downstairs, still unaware that I'm here and then the back door opens and closes.

I finish off upstairs and head back down, curious to see who it is.

She sits there, looking worse for wear then her usual self and almost like she's going to throw up all over the place.

I walk over to where Haymitch is sitting and toss the box in front of his face, the empty bottles clinking in protest.

"There, it's done," I say, quite proud of what I've just done.

Katniss answers the question I'm sure he's thinking about as well. "What's done?"

"I've poured all the liquor down the drain."

Haymitch digs into the box and finds only empty bottles, "You what?" He roars.

"I tossed the lot." I smirk.

"He'll just buy more." Katniss pipes up.

"No, he won't. I tracked down Ripper," a tiny lie on my behalf, "this morning and told her I'd turn her in the second she sold to either of you." Because it had dawned on me that Katniss was recovering from what looked like a bad hangover. "I paid her off too, just for good measure, but I don't think she's eager to be back in the Peacekeeper's custody."

I see Haymitch coming for me miles off, his knife raised and I flick his hand away easily.

But I wasn't prepared for Katniss' response. "What business is it of yours what he does?"

"It's completely my business," I point out, "However it falls out, two of us are going to be in the arena again with the other as the mentor. We can't afford any drunkards on this team. Especially not you, Katniss." I hit her where it hurts.

"What? Last night's the only time I've ever been drunk."

"Yeah and look at the shape you're in." It's almost laughable that state she's in.

She looks at me with pure hatred and then to Haymitch and says loudly enough for me to hear, "Don't worry, I'll get you some more liquor."

"Then I'll turn you both in. Let you sober up in the stocks." I threaten although of course I have no intention of doing any such thing.

"What's the point to this?" Haymitch asks and I can answer him straight away because I've been thinking about it all morning.

"The point is that two of us are coming home from the Capitol. One mentor and victor." Haymitch and Katniss. "Effie's sending me recordings of all the living victors. We're going to watch their Games and learn everything we can about how they fight. We're going to put on weight and get strong. We're going to start acting like Careers. And one of us is going to be victor again whether you two like it or not!" I say with finality and leave them to ponder what they need to do to ensure it.


	13. Chapter 13

They give in to my demands and we train like mad for weeks. Running and hiking and weight-lifting and weaponry. But we hunt too, and learn to make traps and we eat food to help us gain weight.

Haymitch has a hard time with it but he follows mine and Katniss' lead and we work together to help each other get strong. Gale sometimes teaches us his own creations, special snares for game and some edible roots. He's friendly enough but I still get the feeling he's only helping us all to help Katniss. It's harsh but it's worth it in the long run, I'm sure.

In the evening we watch video after video of Effie's tapes and I make note after note on every single victor. My whole notebook is literally bursting open.

When the day of the Reaping comes, the whole District gathers in the square and it's probably the tensest scene I've ever witnessed. Me and Haymitch stand in a massive cordoned off area with Katniss next to us in an identical one. We can't hold hands because we all have to stand in the middle.

It's actually painful watching Effie scoop around the girl's bowl, her fingernails scratching the glass and hurting my ears, inevitably she pulls the slip out finally and calls Katniss' name. I knew it was coming obviously, but it still sent a chill of terror through me.

She moves over to the boy's bowl and I just have time to hope Haymitch won't go back on his word when Effie calls out his name.

"I volunteer!" I call out and walk up to the stage. I can hear shouts from the crowd.

What follows is not unknown to me; we repeat what we did last year and go into the Justice Building.

But this time we don't get to say goodbye to our families, Katniss looks horrified as Thread tells us but she barely has time to protest as we are rushed to the train station.

Katniss remains at the back of the carriage, watching our homes disappear behind us rapidly.

"We'll write letters, Katniss." I tell her, knowing that will never happen. "It will be better, anyway. Give them a piece of us to hold on to. Haymitch will deliver them for us is…they need to be delivered." I am babbling I know but the silence is cutting.

She just nods curtly and walks away. I stay in the carriage and sit down, just staring out the window at the landscape.

There's no hope this year, they can't have two victors again, not in a million years but weirdly, this doesn't unsettle me. It makes me feel quite subdued as I make my way to dinner.

It's very awkward, no-one wants to make conversation and me and Effie try a few times but it doesn't seem to help. I compliment her hair and she tells me about her idea for us all to match Katniss' mockingjay pin. It's a nice idea but Effie doesn't know it's the official rebel symbol now.

But I tell her it's a great idea anyway. When we've all finished Effie asks if we want to watch the recap of the reapings. Everyone agrees and go and get my notebook from my room.

There are fifty-nine remaining victors, twenty-two of them we will soon have to fight.

I star the pages with the victors who are reaped, knowing that some of them will be no trouble at all, but groaning inside when a particularly nasty one comes up.

The recap ends with a stupid comment from a commentator, "These will be the best Games ever!"

Soon it's just me and Katniss left. I rip out the pages of notes on the victors who weren't reaped, feeling slightly annoyed that we wasted that time but happy we did it all the same.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" I notice her eyes which look tired and her slumped body.

"What are you going to do?" She looks at me questioningly.

"Just review my notes a while. Get a clear picture of what we're up against. But I'll go over it with you in the morning. Go to bed, Katniss." I try to sound stern and it works because she gets up and goes.

I stay up for hours, re-watching all the videos and adding to my notes. Soon they are overflowing onto the back of the pages.

Katniss makes me start as she comes in in the early morning.

I get up and stop the tape. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Not for long." She looks uncomfortable.

"Want to talk about it?" She shakes her head solemnly.

I know what she needs so I open my arms as wide as possible and walks straight to me. She wraps her arms around my back and I burrow my face in her hair. I kiss her softly on the neck and whisper her name.

I've missed this closeness all the time we've been training. I was trying to make it easier for her but it seems the loss of physical proximity has not helped her in the slightest. The way she grips me is as if she needs me.

She needs me. It's a hysterical thought.


	14. Chapter 14

An attendant enters the room with a tray of steaming hot milk, and I have to let go of her as much as I hate to.

"I brought an extra cup," he means for me and Katniss thanks him, "and I added a touch of honey to the milk. And just a pinch of spice." He was being very kind and I could see the sympathy in his eyes.

"What's with him?" Katniss turns back to me and points behind her back to where the attendant has just left.

"I think he feels bad for us." I can't even imagine how the people in the Capitol are reacting to the news of us going back into the arena, just a year on as well. They love their victors in the Capitol, more then the winning District itself.

"Right." She pours the milk from the jug into the cups.

"I mean it. I don't think the people in the Capitol are going to be at all happy about our going back in," I say voicing my thoughts, "Or the other victors. They get attached to their champions."

"I'm guessing they'll get over it once the blood starts flowing." Her voice has no hidden levels, just her normal pessimism under the surface. "So, you're watching all the tapes again?"

"Not really. Just sort of skipping around to see people's different fighting techniques."

"Who's next?" She asks.

"You pick." I tell her and hold the box out so she can look.

She moves them around for a while and her fingers move quickly until she finds something that interests her. "We never watched this one." She holds it up.

"No. I knew Haymitch didn't want to," I tell her, reading the name on the side of the tape, "The same way we didn't want to relive our own Games. And since we're all on the same team, I didn't think it mattered much." I'm not sure if I feel comfortable watching Haymitch's tape but if Katniss thinks it could be helpful to us then I'll happily oblige.

"Is the person who won the twenty-fifth in here?" She moves the tapes around some more.

"I don't think so. Whoever it was must be dead by now, and Effier only sent me victors we might have to face. Why? You think we ought to watch it?"

She answers yes, so we put the tape in and begin watching. It's horrible to see how many children had to take part that year, forty-eight is 100% more then usual. Katniss points out a girl who was Mayor Undersee's sister-in-law. We watch the interviews and Haymitch is just like he is now, so apparently his alcoholic ways haven't changed him that much. The first few scenes of the Games are more violent then usual, a total of 18 dying in the bloodbath. And then, unexpectedly, Haymitch makes an ally with the girl from before but she dies later on. His own battle in the end, is between him and a nasty girl who tries to get him with axe but he lets it fall behind him, knowing that a force field lies behind him. It flies back up and gets the girl in the head. Haymitch is announced winner.

I turn the tape off and sit back down. We stare at the blank screen for a few minutes.

We work out that Haymitch found a way to defy the Capitol in his own Games, using their weapon against them and to his advantage. It's like us with the berries. Katniss howls with laughter at this, in an almost manic way but I just shake my head at her.

Haymitch makes us jump when he enters quietly behind us but he doesn't seem mad about us watching his Games without asking. He just takes a gulp of wine. I don't even tell him not to.

The next day, we've arrived in the Capitol and I am so used to being prepped that I phase out for the whole time. They are all fairly monotone today though, extremely surprising considering their usual selves.

"We can't believe it Peeta. You are so brave." Francesca coos.

"Mmm." Is all I can respond.

Thankfully, Portia arrives just in time to stop me falling off my stool from boredom. "Peeta, you are going to _love_ your costume."

"Is there make-up involved?" I cringe at the thought.

"Just a tad." She smiles so I can tell she's lying.

"Let's go." I know I have to try and make the most of my time with people now so I have to be bright and bubbly.

It takes quite a while to get ready for the opening ceremonies, even though the costume seems simple enough. A black jumpsuit that hides every part of my skin and make-up all over my face, which to my surprise doesn't look all that feminine.

Then Portia turns something on and I am ablaze.

I can't quite look at myself without thinking that I'm not on fire.

"Portia, this is great!" I say, turning to her so she knows I'm being serious.

"Me and Cinna did work hard!" She makes me spin and claps her hands appreciatively.

"Well, I think I better go find Haymitch. He wanted me to see him before we go down to the chariots." I turn to go and she grabs my arm.

"Peeta, I'm so proud of you, you know that right?" Her eyes are threatening to well over so I just grin at her and pat her hand.

I walk down the corridor, not even feeling silly in my flames, to Haymitch's room.

"Haymitch, you wanted me to come see you before?" I shout out in to what appears to be an empty room.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" And then he's running out of the bathroom, buttoning a shirt on the way and fixing his collar.

"So what is it?" I ask him, still standing in the doorway.

"I want you to try and talk to the other victors when you get down there. Seriously. They all know each other so you and Katniss are at a disadvantage."

"But I thought we were at an advantage because we're the recent winners?"

"Yes well, some of these have grown close and there's bound to be friendships amongst them. You need allies this time round Peeta. Proper allies, not a Career pack."

"Katniss won't like it."

"Since when does Katniss like anything?"

"Touché."

"Now, go! Don't want to miss your chariot!" He's still running round trying to get ready so I leave him be.

I get the lift down to the ground floor and walk out to where the chariots are assembled, hoping to see a friendly victor who I can talk to. But then something catches my eye by our District 12 chariot that I can't help but ignore.

Katniss is talking to Finnick Odair. I hide a laugh, knowing that she's probably pretty uncomfortable and knowing that she won't be interested in someone like Finnick calms my jealousy.

He sees me coming over and gives Katniss a parting smile before leaving to go in the opposite direction.

"What did Finnick Odair want?" I ask her as I reach our chariot.

She moves closer to me and pouts adorably, "He offered me sugar and wanted to know all of my secrets." I think she's trying to sound sexy but it doesn't go too well and I laugh out loud.

"Ugh. Not really." I joke.

"Really. I'll tell you more when my skin stops crawling." See this is what is intriguing about Katniss, she's not like other girls. She doesn't spend her time doing her hair and make-up or following the gorgeous boys. She just shrugs things like that off, her brain in survival mode, not worried about anything else in life.

I look around at all the victors who surround us. "Do you think we'd have ended up like this if only one of us had one? Just another part of the freak show?"

"Sure. Especially you."

I can't help but smile, "Oh. And why especially me?"

"Because you have a weakness for beautiful things and I don't. They would lure you into their Capitol ways and you'd be lost entirely." She sounds like she's proud of this summary but I disagree.

"Having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as a weakness," and that's true but for me not so much, "Except possibly when it comes to you." I resist the urge to wink at her to show her not too take it too seriously like she always does when I show my love for her.

And then we're in the chariot, ready to start our journey to the Games a second time round. An un-heard of and impossible event.


	15. Chapter 15

We don't wave. We don't smile. And we certainly don't catch kisses in our hands. No – we walk, hand in hand, out into the Capitol crowd and we please like always. Maybe even more then ever before, because our costumes seem to have caught everyone's attention yet again.

We are the fire that everyone has warmed to and everyone loves, even the other victor tributes are mesmerised by our beauty tonight.

I so badly want to smile at my gorgeous "fiancé" beside me but I settle for a quick squeeze of the hand.

President Snow starts to speak but it seems that at least half the crowd aren't listening, still too intent on me and Katniss. It's an overwhelming feeling.

When the ceremony is over, we go back to the Centre, I'm so tired that I could fall on the floor and sleep right now but Haymitch wants us to meet District 11's tributes this year, he seems particularly friendly with the man.

He introduces them to us although I already know who they are, Chaff and Seeder, neither very dangerous but still victors of past Games who have killed and fought.

I wonder if Katniss already knows Seeder but I dismiss the thought automatically, thinking about Rue and her connection to District 11 now.

Chaff, on the other hand, takes a more direct approach which I don't think Kat niss appreciates at all. He kisses her right on the mouth. Haymitch and he both laugh loudly but I know she'd scold me if I did, so I hold back.

We start walking to the elevators when Johanna Mason joins us from behind and hops in our lift.

She compliments our costumes and rants about her own and Katniss tries to play along in the girl-talk but without much success.

"The strapless number you wore in District 2? The deep blue one with the diamonds? So gorgeous, I wanted to reach through the screen and tear it right off your back!" Johanna cries enthusiastically.

Katniss grimaces slightly and I wish I knew what she was thinking.

Johanna starts pulling her tree costume off until she's totally naked apart from her shoes. "That's better." She says evenly as she kicks the costume to the side.

"So, Peeta, I heard your paintings are something of wonder." I can't help but notice that the light from my costume is reflecting on her bare skin, playing on the surface in its flame-like motions.

"Thank you, but they're not that great," I say modestly, but happy to know that people are aware of my talent.

"Well I'll have to see them to believe that." She winks at me as she gets out of the elevator and I can't suppress the smile edging its way onto my face.

Chaff and Seeder get out next and Katniss drops my hand immediately. Maybe she's jealous, I joke to myself. I start to laugh at the expression of disgust and confusion on her face.

"What?" She snaps as we get out on our floor.

"It's you Katniss. Can't you see?" I say to her in a mild manner, trying to calm her down.

"What's me?" She says innocently.

"Why they're all acting like this. Finnick with his sugar cubes and Chaff kissing you and that whole thing with Johanna stripping down," I control my urge to grin again, "They're playing with you because you're so…you know." I don't know how to put it without offending her.

"No I don't know." She says in the same tone.

"It's like when you wouldn't look at me naked in the arena even though I was half dead. You're so…pure." I try to make it sound like a good thing, which I think it is, it's what makes her different from other girls.

"I am not!" She shouts. "I've been practically ripping your clothes off every time there's been a camera for the last year!" She sounds absolutely mortified that I could even say such a thing.

"Yeah, but… I mean, for the Capitol you're pure. For me, you're perfect. They're just teasing you."

"No, they're laughing at me and so are you!" She's rarely in a rage now, it's funny to see her in such a temper when usually she's so controlled.

"No." But it's all I can say because of the laugh threatening to come out of my mouth.

Thankfully, Haymitch and Effie appear in the next lift before she can argue back anymore, but Haymitch doesn't look too happy.

"Looks like they've got you a matched set this year." Effie trills brightly.

I have no idea what she's talking about until I look back to where our bedroom doors out and our personal Avoxes wait. I know the red-headed girl has always served Katniss but my one is new.

I recognize him. I know him. It's Darius.

I check how Katniss is taking this and it doesn't look good seeing as Haymitch has grabbed her wrist tightly in an attempt to hold her back. I think she used to be good friends with him.

She can't be anymore, at least not with words, seeing as he has no tongue.

I feel awful just standing there but Katniss moves before I do. She storms into her room and locks the door. I can't follow her so I go to my own room, passing Darius on the way, smiling politely at him but not saying a word.

I take my suit off and jump straight in the shower. It feels good to wash all the make-up off and the suit was so tightly fitted that it made me sweat a hell of a lot.

I'm happy with my body since we started training, I've always been fairly muscled but now they look more toned and rippling. I wonder what Katniss would think of my manly figure.

I forget the thought and soap down my Capitol-worthy body so I look like me again. Then I step out of the shower and throw a shirt and some trousers on. I don't bother waiting for Effie to call me for dinner, I just go there myself.

Haymitch is the first one there, for the first time I am aware off. I smile at him as I walk in.

"What did you think of the opening ceremonies?" I ask him in a conversational tone.

"Grand." I forgot how hard it can be sometimes to try and keep up a discussion with Haymitch.

I sit down opposite him and butter a roll. Cinna and Portia join us in the next few minutes.

"You're designs were the highlight of the night…once again." I bow down to them jokingly and they laugh. Haymitch is looking at Darius in the corner of the room though.

I chat to Portia and Cinna about the flame jumpsuits until Effie and Katniss come in and we start dinner properly.

Effie is ecstatic with our performance and she gushes over our costumes like everyone else.

Halfway through, Katniss knocks over a plate of peas, and although she tries to make it look accidental, I know better.

Darius rushes over and Katniss leans down to help him, surely the whole purpose of her "accident" but Effie interrupts whatever she plans to do.

"That isn't your job, Katniss!" Ugh, trust Effie to say something as superior and snobbish as that. I wish she hadn't because now there's an awkward silence working its way through the room.

Those silences seem to creep in everywhere.


	16. Chapter 16

We begin to watch the recap of the ceremonies we've just come from, and as much as I just want to go to bed, I'd like to see how much we took over this year.

I notice Katniss doesn't curl up next to me like usual and I can't say it doesn't hurt me, because it does.

I think she might be mad about the elevator/Johanna incident but if that's so, then I'll let her boil over. I don't think she's the kind of person to hold a grudge.

This ceremony is so different from any other any of has watched. We are used to seeing young and bright children prancing around or strutting up and down with attitude. Not adults, most of whom have succumbed to the bad side of life; drugs, drink and madness.

Unexpectedly, me and Katniss are the best. No change there. And in a way it's sad because it means that we've wiped everyone else off the board until the interviews. And really that could go either way for us, gaining us allies or everyone grouping against us. I know which one I'd rather.

As soon as it's over, Katniss leaves, probably trying to get away from me but I'll leave her be for a while, she needs some time to be alone and as much as I'd love to help her through whatever is troubling her, I doubt she'd be too grateful to me for barging in on her privacy.

But I can't hold back for long. I try to paint but the Capitol materials that have been left for me are unfamiliar and fancier than I am used to. I give up and walk across the hall to Katniss door.

I knock quietly and hear her behind the door, stopping whatever she's doing, no doubt to decide on whether or not to let me.

She decides against it. I wait outside for a few minutes anyway, just in case and then I get an idea.

The roof.

I meander up the stairs until I get to the fire exit door. I push it and walk out into the night air.

The skyline is shining and sparkling, like fireflies flying across the midnight streak. It's funny how everything in my life seems to revolve around fire, and the main fuel to keep that fire burning is the sleeping girl underneath where I stand.

I go to the edge and lean over the railing. The streets are alive with people; an optical illusion is created as their bodies move to make it look like the street is moving too.

The moon is just a sliver tonight and there's not a star in the sky. It's stunning and the wind-chimes in the garden behind me tingle in the soft breeze, adding to the serenity.

I let my thoughts wonder aimlessly, not caring where they take me. I think of home and my mother and father's unhappy relationship; I wander why they stayed together all these years.

I think of my brothers who are so different to me and from each other, Jackson is somewhere far away all the time, his mood-swings baffling everyone and Leo is so alive all the time. Leo is never down or short of people around him.

Me, I'm somewhere in the middle. I like to be social like Leo but I like my alone time too, like my oldest brother. And I'm hard-working like my father has been all his life. I can even see how I'm like my mother, I'm determined. She's always been a fighter, ever since I can remember.

And then I think of who I always think of, the person who never leaves my mind, the person who I will willingly be dead for in a few weeks time. I think of Katniss.

I think her as she sleeps and how she must look now. The scowl leaves her face when she's asleep, she always looks peaceful and sometimes a smile even appears.

I think of her soft skin on her hands as I hold them in my callous baker's hands.

And her bow and arrow. And her survival instinct. And her eyes. And her fiery personality underneath it all. And her Gale.

I like Gale quite a lot, he's smart and independent and he looks after his family well, not to mention Katniss. But they'll always be this rivalry between us for her that will never allow us to be friends. And when I'm dead and she goes home, victor once again, they'll get married and have children and be happy. And I like to think I'd be happy for them. Because if he is what makes her happy then that's fine by me. That's just fine.

I just wish there was a way for me to have that chance. And maybe if it wasn't for this stupid Quell then we could have that future.

I know it wouldn't be enjoyable knowing it was never what Katniss wanted, and we were forced into this by the Capitol but maybe she could learn to love me in return and we could be happy.

Maybe.


	17. Chapter 17

I get to breakfast on time and am surprised to see that Effie isn't there, faffing around. It's just Haymitch, playing with a golden bangle on his wrist. The sight is something I'd never thought I'd see; Haymitch wearing jewellery?

I laugh loudly and he jumps at my presence, "What are you laughing at?" He grumbles, rubbing his forehead, no doubt trying to get rid of his headache from his usual morning hangover.

"I like your bracelet, Haymitch." I say evenly, trying not to laugh so he'll explain it to me.

"Shut up. Effie made me wear it." To some extent, this had to be a lie; no-one could make Haymitch do anything. "She wants us to look like a team. There's something for you too." He grins at this, probably hoping I'll hate it more then he does his.

I look on the table as I sit down, and sure enough, in front of my plate lies a golden necklace with a mockingjay engraved on it.

"How come you have flames?" I ask Haymitch as I compare our tokens. His bangle is covered in engraved flames that shine as the sun glints of the windows. Mine carries the exact same emblem as Katniss' pin. It's beautiful but it's still a necklace and I'm still a boy. However, if this is what it takes to show that we are a team then it has to be done, I fling the necklace on over my head and tuck it in under my training clothes.

"Who knows?" Haymitch shrugs and then gets up and walks to the door. He stops just before he's about to leave and turns back to me. "This bracelet symbolizes trust, okay?" And he says it with such calmness and soberness that I just nod.

He leaves the room.

I dig into a strange fruit that looks like a citrus fruit but who can tell? It's so sweet that I almost have to stop eating it but then an aftertaste takes over my mouth and it's such a strange tanginess that I can't stop eating it.

Haymitch re-enters and sits back down. He doesn't explain his absence so I don't ask and we sit in silence waiting for Katniss or someone to come.

Finally, she walks in about five minutes after Haymitch came back and he moans about how late she is.

"Sorry. I slept in after the mutilated-tongue nightmares kept me up half the night." She sounds upset but puts on a brave face as she flops down into a chair next to me.

Haymitch must hear it as well, so he goes on with a nicer tone. "All right, never mind. Today, in training, you've got two jobs. One, Stay in love."

"Obviously." Katniss sighs.

"And two, make some friends." He looks weary as he says this, almost knowing that we are going to argue back.

"No, I don't trust any of them, I can't stand most of them and I'd rather operate with just the two of us." Whilst it pleases me that she's prefer it to be just us to, I can't help but feel that she'd be better protected if there was more of us to do the job. And not to mention my prosthetic leg.

"That's what I said at first, but-" Haymitch cuts me off.

"But it won't be enough. You're going to need more allies this time round." He sounds very urgent and I remember how I promised I would listen to him.

"Why?" Katniss asks, still set against the idea.

"Because you're at a distinct disadvantage. Your competitors have known each other for years. So who do you think they're going to target first?"

"Us. And nothing we're going to do is going to override any old friendship. So why bother?" She can be stubborn sometimes, especially when she has that scowl set on her face so firmly.

"Because you can fight. You're popular with the crowd. That could still make you desirable allies. But only if you let the others know you're willing to team up with them." He looks stern and just as stubborn as she does.

"You mean you want us in the Career pack this year?" She looks disgusted at the thought and I slip down in my seat at my alliance with them last year. Thankfully she doesn't look at me so I manage to regain my former position.

"That's been our strategy hasn't it? To train like Careers? And who makes up the Career pack is generally agreed upon before the Games begin. Peeta barely got in with them last year." Here we go.

She scowls even deeper and I cringe internally. "So we're to try to get in with Finnick and Brutus – is that what you're saying?"

"Not necessarily. Everyone's a victor. Make your own pack if you'd rather. Choose who you like. I'd suggest Chaff and Seeder. Although Finnick's not to be ignored. Find someone to team up with who might be of some use to you. Remember, you're not in a ring full of trembling children anymore. These people are all experienced killers, no matter what shape they appear to be in."

I think about this, I quite liked Chaff and Seeder and even Johanna, but I know Katniss would never go for any of them so I don't say anything. I make a mental note to talk to people that Katniss would consider, not just who I want.

Soon, it's time for training and Effie arrives really early to make sure we get there on time but seeing as we're trying to keep up a good appearance, she has to make do with walking us halfway.

I take Katniss' hand spontaneously just before we leave the elevator and then we're walking into the Training Centre.

For a while hardly anyone shows up, only us and few loners. It's a disappointing turn-out but I guess most of the victors aren't too worried about training all over again when they've already won the Games.

"I think we should split up that way we can cover more ground." She glances around her deciding which station she wants to go to first.

"And to speak to more people." I say with a slight smile on my face. She grimaces. I kiss her lightly on the cheek before going to join Chaff and Brutus at the spear throwing station.

"So you're not joined at the hip." Chaff jokes, punching me lightly in the arm. I laugh and shake my head, picking up a spear to show the trainer my current ability.

Brutus stays mostly quiet but I can tell he's listening to every word me and Chaff exchange. I ignore him though and just watch Chaff's dead on target with his spear. I wince as it pierces right through a dummy's heart from 20 metres away.

Soon I move on to the knife station where over victors have gathered as they have come in over the morning.

"Ah Mr Mellark was pretty good with the knife last year." Gloss, the victor from District 1 smirks. He sounds very patronising for someone who's only a few years older then myself.

"So-so." I say back and then quickly get into a conversation with a woman named Cecelia.

I notice that Finnick Odair has been watching Katniss nearly all morning with a strange look in his eyes but I dismiss it easily as I see his companion, Mags, an old woman from his district.

The rest of the morning I spend talking to people I haven't yet and moving around the stations in a steady pace. It's almost fun but every time I start to think this I remember the reason we are here having this "fun".

At lunchtime, Chaff gets an idea to push all the tables together.

"See how the Capitol likes that eh?" He grins at me.

I smile back politely but look around to see if anyone heard his comment.

It's now a large table with about 40 chairs around the outside so the trainers can sit with us too. It looks like a luncheon table rather then a table to feed 24 people who have to kill each other.

As Katniss sees what we are doing she looks slightly apprehensive, I know she prefers to be independent but socialising a bit more might do her some good.

She saunters off to get her food and I follow after her, having not spoken to her all morning.

"How's it going?" I say nonchalantly.

"Good. Fine. I like the District Three victors. Wiress and Beetee." She says it in total seriousness.

"Really? They're something of a joke to the others." I remember what Johanna was saying about them being a bit crazy.

"Why does that not surprise me?" She is exactly the kind of person who if someone was being bullied in the playground she'd go over and give the bully a piece of her mind. It's so _her_ to take notice of the people that everybody else couldn't care less about.

"Johanna's nicknamed them Nuts and Volts. I think she's Nuts and he's Volts." I look behind my shoulder to where they sit together, deep in conversation about electricity or digitalism no doubt.

"And I'm so stupid for thinking they might be useful. Because of something Johanna Mason said while she was oiling up her breasts for wrestling." Katniss can be so funny sometimes without even noticing it.

"Actually I think the nickname's been around for years. And I didn't mean that as an insult. I'm just sharing information." I can see she's getting a bit aggravated now so I tone it down a bit.

"Well, Wiress and Beetee are smart. They invent things. They could tell by sight that a force field had been put up between us and the Gamemakers. And if we have to have allies, I want them." She dumps the ladle she was using to spoon up her stew into the pot and it splashes us with brown gravy. _Nice statement,_ I think.

"What are you so angry about?" I wipe the drops of gravy from my chest with a napkin. "Because I teased you in the elevator. I'm sorry. I thought you would just laugh about it."

"Forget it. It's a lot of things." She looks so forlorn.

"Darius." I say.

"Darius. The Games. Haymitch making us team up with the others." Ah, so there's a lot of things been playing on my mind and I have to admit, I'm glad I'm not a main one because to be Katniss' anger target it not something you would willingly want to be.

"It can be just you and me, you know." _I wish_.

"I know. But maybe Haymitch is right. Don't tell him I said so, but he usually is where the Games are concerned." She looks like she wishes she didn't have to admit that.

"Well, you can have final say about our allies. But right now, I'm leaning towards Chaff and Seeder."

"I'm okay with Seeder, not Chaff. Not yet, anyway." She looks at where he sits, guffawing about something or the other.

"Come on and eat with him. I promise, I won't let him kiss you again." I smile at her playfully and she grudgingly follows me to sit next to him. She smiles at me, a sad little smile and I promise myself that she won't ever have to make that face again.

I promise myself, once again, that she will have the best possible allies and the victor's crown.

And her whole life ahead of her.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Hey! I'm sorry it's been so long but I lent my copy of Catching Fire to my best friend and she took AGES to read it. Good news though, she loved it! So what did everyone think of Mockingjay? I personally was disappointed…but oh well, here's a chapter :D

I make my way around the rest of the victors who I haven't yet talked to in the afternoon and get talking to Finnick Odair.

"Planning on getting in with the Careers again this year?" He approaches me as I make my way across the training hall and falls into line beside me.

"I have no idea what this year's Game strategy is. It's going to take some thinking." I answer and even if I did know, I probably wouldn't tell him, being pretty sure that Katniss wouldn't thank me for it.

"I watched you with them, you know. I saw you stay up that night under the tree and then ward off that hulking boy, what was his name? Caton? Caro?"

"Yeah. Cato." I remember how tired I was that night and how sleep was calling to me but it was better to stay tired and risk the chance of black bags then have Glimmer on guard.

"I though it was an act at first. And I actually congratulated that drunk mentor of yours. He just laughed in my face. I guess I know why now." Finnick has his trademark sly grin on his face.

"It was never an act on my behalf." I say simply.

"Oh, I don't know. She's got fire in her eyes, that girl. When she looks at you they seem to ignite even more." He shrugs as if that explains everything.

"This is the end Finnick, it's not like any of that matters." I start to worry that I might have given something away but he just looks at me as if he already knows what my plan is. I guess I'm predictable when it comes to Katniss. "She'll get out."

"Oh, I have no doubt of that." I look at his quizzically but his stance and expression indicates that that conversation is over. He stops at the station that I was heading for and inclines his head towards the weights in the corner. The trainer waves us over.

"So, how many tridents do you own?" I ask him at the weight-lifting station, trying to get to know him a bit better.

"Ballpark figure?" He smirks, "Only about 5. They're my special ones." He winks at me and pulls a 20kg into his tight grip. I follow suit. "And how many cakes have you iced? Ballpark figure." He's still smiling to himself and I have to admit he's intimidating in every way.

"I'd say more or less a thousand. And you?" I grin at him and he laughs loudly, his broad shoulders shaking.

"Baking isn't my kind of thing. I'm more…outdoorsy." He stretches his arms out and above his head.

"Well you have the sea, we don't. I don't even know how to swim." I confide in him although I have no idea why.

"If you ice me a cake, then maybe I'll come to your aid in water."

"No deal. I don't do personalised." I smile and move up to the 30kg. I notice his eyes dart to the left of us and his head tilt up.

"We'll see." And then he takes off over to where a crowd has gathered. Around the archery station. I jog behind him to get a look at what I already know must be attracting everyone.

And there she is, in her prime. Taking down so many fake birds in one go it hurts my eyes to try and count. And it seems that everyone else feels the same way, their mouths agape and their eyes popping out of the sockets. Some have a scowl on their faces like Enobaria who's at her own station but is sneakily looking on as Katniss' arrows fly through the air and bring down five at once. Beetee or "Volts" as Johanna Mason likes to call him is smiling a small smile to himself and his eyes show admiration and respect. Maybe Katniss was right about him; strangely she actually usually has a good sense of judgement. Look at her alliance with Rue that only made her stronger this time last year.

Her hair, in its long braid, sways around her as she lets go of the string and sends to blue feathered arrow flying with such force that her arms ripple with it. Her face is set in determination and her eyes are squeezed almost so much that they are shut but I can still see the flying objects reflecting in her eyes and the way her pupils move to watch their streaking movements. Her fingers curl around the bow and her hand shoots so quickly to get the arrow that sometimes I miss it.

She turns round to see us all staring at her and blushes before going to talk to the trainer. Everyone soon skitters off to get more training up their sleeve and follow behind after a while.

As I manoeuvre through all the stations, I realise that that was actually the first time I've ever seen her shoot. Obviously I've eaten her game and heard the rumours but seeing it was amazing. She looks so strong and fierce and for a change, happy. I guess there's one thing out there for everyone that makes them feel that way.

Haymitch has his drink. Finnick Odair has his tridents. My father has his flour. Katniss has her bow and arrows.

Me, well I think it's pretty obvious what I have.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N –**** Back to school tomorrow ****L**** but I will keep writing ****J**** I know I haven't asked for reviews, but I would really appreciate some more! Thanks to everyone who has already reviewed though, it means a LOT! :)**

When we are dismissed for the day, me and Katniss go back to our quarters and I do some sketching of the Capitol skyline while she fiddles with her hair.

"I've never seen anything like it, you know." I say, pointing my pencil at the window.

"The Capitol? There _isn't_ anything like it." She doesn't move her eyes from her lap as she says this so I drop it, thinking that maybe she doesn't want to talk.

Soon after, Haymitch calls us for dinner and before we're even seated he starts grilling us about the first day of training.

"So at least half the victors have instructed their mentors to request you as an ally. I know it can't be your sunny personality." He directs this at Katniss and she grimaces which makes me smile.

"They saw her shoot; actually I saw her shoot, for real, for the first time. I'm about to put in a formal request myself."

"You're that good?" Haymitch looks almost doubtful but it's hard to tell what he's really feeling, especially since his poker face is one of the best I've ever seen. "So good that Brutus wants you?" This doesn't surprise me, I knew he was watching District 12 but Katniss looks up at this.

"But I don't want Brutus. I want Mags and District Three." I feel myself smiling even more. Katniss is so…what's the word? I'll get back to you on that one.

""Of course you do." Haymitch looks slightly disappointed but I suspect he knew that would be her initial reaction. "I'll tell everybody you're still making up your mind."

The rest of dinner is the usual conversations and the early bedtime for another day of training, but just as I feel myself dozing off, a knock thumps heavily on the door.

I stagger out of bed and turn the light on as I move to the door. Pulling it open, I blink into the lightness outside and find Haymitch directly in front of me.

"Can I help you?" I ask sleepily after he doesn't say anything for a while. Instead of answering though he just brushes past me into the room and flops down into an armchair.

"Another plan." He is sitting up straight and looking rather determined so I know I have no hope of going back to bed.

"Please tell me it involves me being able to go to sleep in the next five minutes."

He ignores my joke though and launches straight in, "You were star-crossed lovers. You were "boyfriend and girlfriend"," at this I raise an eyebrow but he waves it away quickly, "You are fiancé's. Next step is marriage." He looks at me expectantly.

"I was aware of that." I stare back blankly.

"Obviously now there will be no wedding but that doesn't mean you can't move onto the next step."

"Which would be?" Usually I'm more alert but it's late and it's very hard to tell what Haymitch is getting at half the time.

"Think about it." He leans forward in his chair and his eyes pierce me.

"A child." I say calmly.

"A child," he repeats. "The Capitol would go mad. It will guarantee not only sponsors but Snow will be impressed too." He moves off the chair, as if to go.

"Okay. I'll do it, but won't it be a bit obvious that two 17 year olds probably wouldn't have even considered something like that."

"Peeta, you are the country's favourite couple. They'll believe anything and everything. You just have to do it right." He smiles ruefully and stands, stretching his arms as if he'd been sitting a long time. Before he leaves, he does something that surprises me. He ruffles my hair. Haymitch Abernathy ruffles my hair.

I don't go back to sleep for a while, thinking and planning in my head how to do this like I did with the marriage proposal, but of course Katniss knew about that so this will be harder.

A child, and not just any child, but mine and Katniss'. An impossible thought for either of us because only one of us will be alive in a fortnight. But for Katniss, one day it will be an option, whether it's Gale's or another man's. And I just know that she'll be a brilliant mother. Like she is a hunter. And a survivalist.

The next two days of raining are like last year's Games but for some strange incomprehensible reason it's almost enjoyable.

The other Victors chat and engage with us like old friends and if anyone was watching, it would look more like an old class reunion then a gathering of 24 people who would have to kill each other.

There are two morphling addicts from District 6 who take an interest in the camouflages and I show them how to paint flowers and much to the trainer's dismay, mix all kinds of colours to make beautiful bright ones.

When Katniss comes over on the second day's afternoon, they paint her into a field of flowers; so many different shades of yellow surround her that I soften it up with a few golds and oranges.

When the time for our private sessions with the Gamemakers come, everyone leaves still having no idea what they're going to do and after Seeder is gone, it's just me and Katniss.

"Decided what to do for the Gamemakers yet?" I take her hands in mine so that they are intertwined in the middle of the table between us.

She shakes her head solemly, "I can't really use them for target practise this year, with the forcefield up and all. Maybe make some fish-hooks. What about you?"

"Not a clue. I keep wishing I could bake a cake or something." I think of all the ingredients back at home and the hundreds of different types. I would give anything just to be able to complete one more recipe.

"Do some more camouflage." She suggests.

"If the morphlings have left me anything to work with," I say dryly. "They've been glued to that station since training started." I think about how I might have to kill them to save Katniss. Could I do it? _Would_ I do it?

"How are we going to kill these people Peeta?" She says, reading my mind.

"I don't know." I say; tiredness present in my voice. I lean forward onto our hands, wishing I could go to sleep.

"I don't want them as allies. Why did Haymitch want us to get to know them? It'll make it so much harder then last time. Except for Rue maybe. But I guess I never really could've killed her anyway. She was too much like Prim." She looks so forlorn in this empty waiting room that I just want to scoop her up in my arms but I can see the Capitol official coming down the corridor through the window in the door.

"Her death was the most despicable wasn't it?" I say, remembering the re-runs they show on TV.

"None of them were very pretty." I get the feeling she would have continued but the Capitol man arrives and I follow him to the Gamemaker's private room.

And suddenly, I know exactly what to do. It's so obvious that I wonder why I never thought of it before. But I guess my latest conversation inspired me.

They welcome me and ask me to begin, and begin I do.

Luckily, all the colours and materials I need are laid out, not too ruined from the morphlings so I get straight to work.

My hand moves quickly as I swirl the colours together messily, having to work on the floor is not ideal.

I can feel sweat beading up on my forehead but I manage not to wipe it away by knowing I only have a set amount of time. I avoid looking up at the Gamemaker's behind their table, worrying that they'll see my intentions and escort me out. But when I risk a quick glance out the corner of my eye, none of them look about to move so I finish up.

The last thing to do is add a bit of brown and gold and shade them together to get a perfect colour.

I look down at my work and think maybe it's the best painting I've done.

I feel so light and _happy_ that I actually smile at the Gamemakers and rub my hands of the drying the dye on a dummy that stands near me.

Before they can say anything, I walk evenly to the door and pull it open. I can hear whispers and cries behind me but as soon as that cold air greets me as the door opens I step out and realise what I've just done.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N-** **Sorry. SORRY. **_**Sorry.**_** I am soooo sorry it's taken so long for me to update and especially after all the AMAZING reviews! Thank you millions to all of you who did review the last chapter, please carry on the fashion :P Ok so excuse time – I started my own original story which I'm really getting in to and I just kind of…forgot… about Following Flames. But from now on, I will **_**try**_** to update more often! Much love to my fans and reviewers – you guys make my days! **

No matter how I hard I try to wash the dyes off my hands…they just aren't budging!

Scrubbed red and raw with everything the Capitol has to offer and there's not one chemical or soap that can rid of dyes. Ridiculous.

It's almost becoming a routine now; training, shower, dinner, bed. I find myself beginning to hate it more everyday, and not for the obvious reason of knowing that it won't last much longer, but because it's lasted too long already.

It doesn't seem like just three days ago that Haymitch was interrupting my sleep or that training began. It's all becoming a bit of a blue now, especially this last year.

Speaking of Haymitch, his plan, after a _lot_ of thought from me, might actually just work. If the star crossed lovers were loved by the Capitol, then surely the doomed teenage mother and father will be even more so. That means sponsors, especially for Katniss and maybe even the Capitol's protection – they wouldn't kill an unborn child…would they?

There's a rapid knocking at the door that's too lively to be Haymitch so it must be Effie calling on me for dinner.

I din the soap in the sink and wash the suds from my still unclean hands, dry them quickly on a towel, all whilst calling, "Coming!"

I open the door and smile at Effie as we take off towards the dining room.

"You know Peeta, it's rude to shout." She has that disappointed tone in her voice and I realise that I should probably cherish it now, whilst I can, because Effie isn't too bad. Not as bad as Katniss makes out anyway!

"I'm sorry, Effie, it's just I can't get this dye off – I've been at it for half an hour." I hold my hands up to prove it.

"I see. Well I have just the thing!" Her voice had somewhat brightened as she rooted around in her bag and pulled out a small bottle with a pump at the top. "This gets rid of just about anything from every surface!" She waved it around before giving it to me and I slotted it in my pocket.

"Thanks, Effie, I'll give it a try after dinner." For we were now at the table and dinner was about to be served.

Katniss walked in just after we'd sat down and her face was graver then I've ever seen before. My stomach did a little flip at the thought of what she might have done at the Gamemaker's session.

We were barely putting our spoons down from the soup for starters when Haymitch launched right in, I guess that explains why Effie didn't ask me about the session on the way here – they all wanted to find out together.

"All right, so how did your private sessions go?" His face looked expectant for once and I looked at my lap guiltily. Maybe I could lie – but they'd find out soon enough when I got a 2 for my training score.

As I look up again because Katniss isn't speaking either, she catches my eye and before I can insist on ladies first, "You first," she says "It must have been really special. I had to wait for forty minutes to go in."

I wince slightly and stutter a little as I speak, "Well, I- I did the camouflage thing, like you suggested, Katniss." I breathe in, "Not exactly camouflage. I mean I used the dyes." I think about showing everyone my hands like I did Effie, but they're knotted so tightly together in my lap that I keep them there.

"To do what?" Portia pushes.

"You painted something, didn't you? A picture." Katniss looks wary but steady.

"Did you see it?" I ask, back to my normal voice, although a little surprised that she would know what I did.

"No. But they made a real point of covering it up." She looks thoughtful, as if remembering the room.

"Well that would be standard. They can't let one tribute know what another did. What did you paint, Peeta?" Effie looks absolutely fine unlike everyone else in the room, who all seem to sense I didn't paint a pretty little picture of Katniss, even the Avoxes.

"Why would he paint a picture of me, Effie?" Katniss sounds frustrated like she just wants me to come out and say what I did. I want to say – _why wouldn't I paint a picture of you? It's my favourite thing to do. Look at my collections if you want proof._

"To show he's going to do everything he can to defend you. That's what everyone in the Capitol's expecting anyway. Didn't he volunteer to go in with you?" That makes me sound like the hero I'm not. Maybe I should have done that, painted a simple picture of Katniss, it would have caused a lot less trouble.

"Actually, I painted a picture of Rue," I say, wanting to stop whatever Katniss' next comment would be, fearing another outburst from her, "How she looked after Katniss had covered her in flowers." I stare everyone in the eye while it sinks in.

"And what exactly were you trying to accomplish?" I can almost hear Haymitch's teeth grinding as he speaks through them but he collects himself and stays cool.

"I'm not sure. I just wanted to hold them accountable, if only for a moment. For killing that little girl." I let the last sentence hang in the air for a while, trying to make them see what drove me to do it but apparently it's uncomprehensible.

"This is dreadful. That sort of thinking…it's forbidden Peeta. Absolutely. You'll only bring down more trouble on yourself and Katniss." _Right Effie, like I haven't thought of that one._

"I have to agree with Effie on this one." Haymitch looks me in the eye and I know he's mad at me for being so reckless.

"I guess this is bad time to mention I hung a dummy and painted Seneca Crane's name on it." Katniss pipes up.

The silence that follows is even more deadly then mine.

"You…hung…Seneca Crane?" Cinna says, slightly disbelieving.

"Yes. I was showing off my new knot-tying skills, and he somehow ended up at the end of the noose." She sounds so casual and unphased as she speaks that I have to admire her.

"Oh, Katniss, how do you even know about that?" Effie whispers, almost to herself.

"Is it a secret? President Snow didn't act like it was. In fact, he seemed eager for me to know." If she carries on this way, it won't be hard to persuade people to think she really is pregnant. Effie whimpers and leaves the room abruptly. "Now I've upset Effie. I should have lied and said I shot some arrows."

I smile, knowing that I was thinking exactly the same thing about what I did, " You'd have thought we planned it.

"Didn't you?" Portia sounds tired and distressed as she asks.

"No. Neither of us even knew what we were going to do before we went in." She gives me a funny look that I don't quite understand before looking at Cinna who is staring at his glass of wine.

"And, Haymitch? We decided we don't want any other allies in the arena." The adrenalin from Katniss must have caught on me because I don't even realise what I'm saying until after I've said it. But strangely – I don't regret it.

"Good. Then I won't be responsible for you killing off any of my friends with your stupidity."

"That's just what we were thinking." Says Katniss.

Nobody speaks for the rest of dinner and Effie doesn't return. It's painful hearing the forks scrape across the plates and not just for the ears but the whole atmosphere feels wrong.

Finally, when the disaster dinner is over we walk, still in silence, but not as awkward to the sitting room where the TV is already on, the Capitol seal just appearing.

Effie comes back in and perches on the arm of a chair, the rest of us squeezed onto one couch. You might think we're one big family.

I pick my notepad up from a table with all this year's tributes and note them down as they come up. Of course Finnick and Brutus and the other Careers are right up there in double figures but nobody else pulls anything special.

"Have they ever given a zero?" Katniss asks no-one in particular, worry in her voice.

"No, but there's a first time for everything." Cinna says solemnly.

And how right Cinna is. I must listen to him more often.

I get a 12. Katniss gets a 12.

Risks must be a hit with the Gamemakers this year.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

That night, Katniss and I wind up in bed together again. I never knew just being so close to somebody could make me so content and peaceful. Even knowing that in just a few days we'll be back in the arena – nothing could make me unhappy at this moment in time.

I feel Katniss fall asleep next to me; I stroke her cheek and brush her collar bone when I get an idea.

It frustrates me that I can't do anything about it right now but as soon as I get a free moment or next bump into Haymitch – I'll get it.

A necklace. Well more of a locket. I know it will be the perfect…reminder…for Katniss. I'll keep it with me in the arena until I think it's the right time. Then when I feel like she's about to give up – I'll spring it. Let her know that this life holds so much for her. For me, not so much, at least not without her anyway. And this year there won't be two winners, no way.

The next morning I'm awake before Katniss but she's soon rubbing her eyes and stretching out next to me.

"No nightmares." I tell her.

"No nightmares." She repeats, her voice somewhat stunned at this. "You?"

"None. I'd forgotten what a real night sleep feels like." It was true, as soon as I'd known what to do to give her a last push; persuade her not to keep me alive, but herself – I'd drifted straight off into a warm and undisturbed sleep.

I wrap my arm around her shoulder and we just sit there silently for a while, watching the sun rise over the Capitol skyline. That view will never get boring – not ever. But then an Avox knocks and gives Katniss a slip of paper with a message on.

Katniss reads it, no expression on her face and I stand behind her to read it over her shoulder.

"Really?" I ask, taking it from her to read it again. "Do you know what this means? We'll have the whole day to ourselves." The prospect of this brightens my day even more. Although we might be confined to the tribute's quarters, at least we can be together.

"It's too bad we can't go somewhere." Katniss says half-heartedly, reading my mind.

"Who says we can't?" I smile knowingly at her and she knows instantly what I'm thinking of.

Apart from Katniss, this place is my only haven in the Capitol. The only quiet and peace and place for thinking without interruptions or demands.

The whole day is more then I could have ever wished for. We have food supplies for the whole day, blankets for whenever a breeze brushes past the tower roof and each other for company.

At lunchtime, I stand up, stretching my hands out from clutching the pencil so hard. I look down at the paper by my feet. Five sketches of Katniss; her face, her hands ting knots, her braid falling down her back, her eyes staring off into the distance of Panem and finally her whole body, lying face-up towards the sun, eyes closed – totally at peace with herself. At least that's what it looks like.

I glance down at her sceptically beside me, still in that same last position. "Get up." I nudge her playfully with my shoe toe and she grumbles something incomprehensible before staggering to her feet.

"Catch this." I throw her an apple that was rolling around on the floor, it has the right effect because, quick as a flash, her hand darts out and grabs it as the fruit hurtles towards her.

"Now what?" It's her chance to look at me sceptically.

I glance over my shoulder and step aside from where I stood directly in front of her. "Now throw it. Straight ahead." She chucks it, and it falls over the rooftop – at least that's what It looks like. But then, a second later it's flying back – I slide to my right again and catch it in one hand.

She smiles, understanding this new found game. "Your turn, then." She says and readies herself to move to wherever it comes from.

I throw it and it zooms back from the force field, into Katniss' hand.

We carry on, laughing and running all over the place. Time passes so quickly, the sun climbs high into the sky before sliding back down.

Evening isn't far off and we're both pretty tired from our afternoon game so I flop down on one of the blankets. Katniss stays standing a while, probably thinking about the next few days. The topic never seems to leave our minds.

Soon though, even she grows tired and comes to sit next to me. Yet her sitting position doesn't last long, in a few minutes her head rests on my legs, her body lying horizontally to mine.

She plays with flowers, fiddling them around her nimble fingers and stringing them together. I play with her hair in the same way, letting the strands fall between my fingers before rushing to scoop them back up again.

"That's tickling my neck." She complains but I know she's only joking, a smile tugs at the corner of her mouth.

"Don't you want me to be able to knot in the arena? Say it's a massive ball of string…" She laughs loudly, so I cut it off and laugh with her, our voices accompanied by the wind-chimes tingling in the wind.

The silence falls again and the sky pinkens with time.

"What?" Her voice breaks my train of thoughts of the colours of could mix to make this exact sky colour.

"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever." I hadn't been intending to say anything – but when I can't paint – I speak.

I wait for the awkwardness to radiate from her, or her body to shrug off mine but all she replies is. "Okay."

I smile to myself, "Then you'll allow it?"

"I'll allow it."

I feel her fall asleep again after ten minutes or so and I carry on playing with her hair. It reminds me of my mothers, well what her hair used to be like anyway.

My mother used to be an attractive woman, she had so much going for her. She was a kind woman. Sometimes, I think she still is. When I was younger, I used to ask my father and my brothers why mother never used to hug me. I'd seen all the other mothers at the school do it. The only person who ever really showed me affection was my grandmother, but she died on my 9th birthday – so it was short-lived. My dad wouldn't answer, he'd just tell me mother was a busy woman. My brothers just shrugged and went back to whatever they were previously doing.

To this day, I have never understood my mother. But now, thinking of my family back at home, and District 12 – I think I understand why she's so depressed. This world is of no value to anyone. You live or you die. Nobody's life makes a difference. It's not like the history books where people used to be able to change society. Rebels get pushed back into line. Or punished. Or executed.

What a change it would make for someone to be able to freely say their thoughts.

I've tried many a time, the Victor's tour or my interviews in front of Panem; but people think I'm being friendly.

I can only hope that one day, if not me, someone will do something to change this world. This world of oppression and censorship.

I realise that the sky ahs changed to a gorgeous colour of orange – my favourite – and I wake Katniss gently – to show her my favourite colour in the world.

"I didn't think you'd want to miss it." I take her hand in mine and knot my fingers with hers tightly.

"Thanks." She mutters. Not rudely though, more in a trance. Her eyes reflect the orange and glitter in the fading sunset. Soon the Capitol will be a pool of lights and cars and moving people on the streets. But for these few minutes that the sun glistens behind the buildings and dips down into the earth, I've never seen a more beautiful place in my life.

The place I've been summoned to my death. The place that I'll lose Katniss. That place that brings misery to the country. Although I hate to admit it – it's spectacular.

**A/N –**** I know Peeta seems a bit…rambling in this chapter – but I really wanted to bring the artist out in him. **


	22. Chapter 22

This last day of freedom turned out to be just that. And a tiring one too. As soon as we get back to Katniss' room, I hesitantly wait to see if she wants me to stay again, but she doesn't have to say anything as she calmly walks in and leaves the door wide open behind her, we both crash onto the bed.

I stare at the ceiling for what seems like forever, waiting for sleep to overcome me. Yet again, Katniss has an easier time letting her body rest; she curls up into herself and then fits her body into mine, curving us into one being.

She's lying on my arm and although I lose the feeling in it pretty quickly, I leave it there, wanting to be as close to her as possible.

And I suppose I fall asleep like that, because next thing I know, a large, green woman is leaning over me, tears rolling down her plump, emerald cheeks and onto mine. I jump but then see a familiar orange haired man behind her and realise that it's already morning. Tonight's the big night. And tomorrow the big day. Again.

I'm ushered from the room in a hurry and kicked back into my own, where my prep team awaits me.

They all sit in a straight formation on my bed. Claudius is looking anywhere but directly at me and the two women are twitching at the cheeks, eyes threatening to spill the tears they are so fiercely trying to hold in.

"Hi guys, I hope those tears aren't for me." I pull a smile onto my face and budge up against them on the bed. Sure, they're weird and slightly out of it at times, but they've done a lot for me and I _think_ they care about me; the tear trickling down Mercury's face.

"No! Peeta – up, up, up!" Francesca bounds up, off the bed, and tugs at my hand, pulling me out of my seat with more force then you would think for such a wiry looking woman.

"Work to do. Skin to buff. Hair to clean. Nails to polish." She motions at the other two, a slight quaver in her voice and then stalks off into the bathroom. I have no choice but to follow.

I could probably do the whole routine myself now, I've done it that many times, but all the same, it's kind of calming to hear my prep team's familiar voices, along with their high heels clacking the tiles and long fingernails drumming different surfaces of the bathroom. I smile inwardly at the wackiness of these people, but also the wonder.

"People, are we done in here yet?" Portia stops at the door and peers in. Her hair is messily tied back and her face might as well be tattooed with the word "TIRED".

"Just about." Says Francesca, giving my cheek a quick pinch and surprisingly, a kiss too. She wells up again and runs from the room before I even realise that the other two are already gone.

"They mean well, Peeta. They're just emotional." Portia smiles tentatively before chucking me a robe and walking back out into the living quarters.

I follow her out and am pleased to see a simple black tuxedo laid out on the bed; no frills, no exuberant colours, just a pair of white gloves to accompany them. Maybe it will make me look older, I'll need to for the plan. Speaking of which, I haven't had the chance to talk to Haymitch about the locket. I make a mental note to.

Portia doesn't utter a word as I pull the suit on, which is perfectly fitting and unexpectedly comfortable.

"Is it okay?" She asks, straightening one of the lapels, her brow creased in anxiety.

"It's perfect. As usual. Thank you Portia." I take her hand in mine and give it a squeeze. A tear slides along her eyelid but she blinks it back and glances away.

"People grow too attached to you, Peeta. You're too likeable." She laughs jokingly, but I think of the hidden meaning behind the words. The Capitol aren't happy then. Well let's see how my plan goes down, now that should be a show.

We walk, Portia's arm through mine, to the elevator and I do a double-take at the scene before me.

Haymitch and Effie stand near the button panel, with Cinna opposite and a woman in a flowing, white bridal gown next to him. She's so striking that it makes me weak at my knees, makes my stomach ache to look at her, makes me want to marry her right then and there.

Katniss turns to me and smiles; that sad smile from the training centre that I promised she would never do again but I realise how stupid that was. Those kind of smiles…they are the only kind that people of the Districts can share in a place like the Capitol, the only kind of recognition of understanding and unity. The only kind of acknowledgment without an obvious meaning.

I mirror the smile.

At the interview set, everyone is already there, and everyone takes a dramatic turn when we walk in. Me in a tuxedo and Katniss in a wedding gown; looking like a just married couple.

A few people snicker to the person next to them like Cashmere, or like Johanna who's eyebrow raises further then I would have imagined possible, or Finnick who just purses his lips and eyeballs us. He's the first to break the silence.

"I can't believe Cinna put you in that thing." His hand waves towards the dress.

"He didn't have any choice. President Snow made him." _Wrong thing to say Finnick,_ I think to myself, knowing that Katniss would be on the defensive for Cinna.

"Well you look ridiculous!" Cashmere cries before walking off with her brother in tow.

People start to look sympathetic now, like we're the underdogs of this year's Games which I suppose we are, but maybe they don't realise the effect this will have on the Capitol. They don't know how powerful a wedding dress can be. What am I thinking? Of course they do, they've all been victors long enough to know how the Capitol works. Maybe they just feel sorry for us, as in our actual love.

This year interviews turn out to be quite a bit more interesting then the usual rubbish the tributes spout. Because this year…everyone seems to be on the same page and reading between the lines, ever so carefully.

Johanna Mason is the most intriguing, she doesn't hide the fact that she totally disagrees with everything the Capitol does and try as Ceasar might there isn't really any sutting her up.

"…It's just such a shame, all of these strong, independent people," she gestures at all the victors, "have to go against each other. We've all become so close," her eyes linger on Finnick and a tiny smile lights her usually moody face, "and now we…well we won't be. Can something not be done about this?" She looks out at the audience who all cheer in agreement. Ceasar checks the clock at the side of the stage, still a minute to go, he tugs at his collar wearily. "No-one could want to kill all these hard formed friendships amongst us, even the worst of people wouldn't wish that upon anybody." She stops for a second, catching her breath and Cesar takes his chance.

"Yes, a sad circumstance Miss Mason, but let the strongest man or woman win. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for District 7's Johanna Mason!" He pronounces each word slowly to take up the last few seconds and then shakes Johanna's hand heartily.

Before I know it, it's District 12's turn. Katniss teeters onto stage, her gown spilling around her like pool of satin.

I've never heard such screams of pain before, and I live in Thread's District! The audience is jeering and crying and some people I think even fainting.

But Ceasar manages to get them under control eventually but it's clear that the wedding dress is the main focus.

"So, Katniss, obviously this is a very emotional night for everyone. Is there anything you'd like to say?" He leans in, friendly as can be, towards Katniss and strokes her dress admiringly.

I start to tune out the audience and Katniss' response as it dawns on me that I'm up next. I get my poker face ready and dry my sweating palms on the chair's cotton exterior. My mind is whirring but I manage to get a few lines together in my head. I pray that I can keep them there, on the side-lines, ready for anything that Ceasar might throw at me.

But I'm side-tracked by the billows of smoke coming from the stage. I fight the urge to stand or run up to the interview seats and make sure nothing is wrong. But I don't need to for long, because as I look to my left I get a glimpse on a screen of what everyone else is seeing.

Katniss is in flames. Well not actually Katniss, but her dress. The girl on fire.

And then I realise the situation and start to panic. Why the hell is Katniss' dress burning?

Concentrating more directly on the dress though and I see the reason behind it all. I might be the first to clock what's going on because Katniss certainly isn't and neither have the audience.

Katniss is not a girl on fire. But something more symbolic, more meaningful, more rebellious.

She's a mockingjay.

_Oh dear,_ I think and they are the only two words I can think of.

I don't hear anything until Chaff is nudging my arm next to me, pointing at the stage.

"You're up next, lover boy." He winks and smacks my back as I stand.

I see Katniss coming towards me, her eyes are fierce and fiery, like her smouldering dress and I have to look away before I lose my footing or worse my lines.

I leap onto stage and say hello to Ceasar like always, a quick man hug and a strong hand shake. He smiles widely to start with but when he sees my hands fidgeting with each other, which is a rare occurrence, he goes straight into business.

"So, Peeta, what was it like when, after all you've been through, you found out about the Quell?" He asks me.

"I was in shock. I mean, one minute I'm seeing Katniss look so beautiful in all these wedding gowns and the next…" I let my unfinished sentence hang, knowing that everybody who's had true love will understand.

"You realised there was never going to be a wedding?" He finished for me in a hushed tone.

I think about this and I remember something my father told me once. Before he and my mother got married, he supposedly married another woman. Although, it wasn't official he said they were married enough. It's an old District 12 tradition of marriage – a toasting that seals the bond, no matter how unofficial it is, my father always swore he was married to that woman. So I play it by memory.

"Ceasar, do you think all our friends here can keep a secret?" I glance out at the crowd, flashing a secretive smile.

Ceasar looks wary but quickly shrugs it off and laughs, unsteadily, before saying "I feel quite certain of it."

"We're already married." I kind of whisper it but I reckon the sound people are already making it a booming declaration on the TV.

He asks specific questions that thankfully I know the answer to, but I'm more focused on when I'll be able to drop the big bomb. Time is running out rapidly.

"I'm not glad," I say in answer to a statement of Ceasar's, "I wish we had waited until the whole thing was done officially." _Come on, Ceasar, buy into it._

"Surely even a brief time is better then no time?" He questions, a look of astonishment on his face.

Here it comes.

"Maybe I'd think that too Ceasar, if it wasn't for the baby." My body relaxes as I get the reaction from the audience that Haymitch and I had planned for; the horrified expressions, the demands to stop the Games and the question of whether the ruling is fair.

I glance at Katniss and see the shocked look on her face. I hope I've done the best thing for her. But it's out there now, there's no taking it back, it will just have to be used to the best of our advantages.


	23. Chapter 23

Numbly, I stand from my seat, seeing the 'o' shape of Caesar's mouth and hearing the ringing sound of the buzzer.

There are tears building up behind my eyelids as I walk from the stage. The screams and the shouts are whirring endlessly in my brain. And her face when the words fell from my lips.

I had to do it. Had to.

And I don't know what will happen now. I can only hope for the best.

The anthem starts to play; the bass thrumming through me, the tears spilling. Katniss rises, a mirror reflection of my own bewildered look on her face. I reach for her, needing to know if she'll forgive me for the lie, if she can see why I did it.

She falters for a few seconds, looking out at the crowd, her eyes a fathomless pit, but then I feel her fingers wind through mine and I know it'll be okay.

Her grip tightens slightly as we stand, looking out at the crowd and I turn to face her, worried that she'll break down, but then I see what made her squeeze. Her other hand is also being held, by Chaff, nonetheless, and the clasped hands; the ones that symbolise unity and friendship, echo down the line of victors. I choke slightly at the unusual sight but I should be smiling.

If we were not all being sent to our deaths, it would be a wonderful image to see 24 people come together, in the midst of this awful world.

The cameras have got it. And everyone in the whole of Panem has seen us. If that's not enough to spur on the rebels, I don't know what is.

In a rush to get out of the madness that's taking place on stage, I pull on Katniss' hand and pull her through into the Training Centre where there is a lift already waiting for us.

I pull her with all my weight and she doesn't protest.

I slid in through the door and she falls into my slightly. I can see Johanna and Finnick barrelling towards us, and my hand reaches out to hold the door for them but a Peacekeeper steps out of nowhere and stands in front of the gap between the doors.

They whizz shut and we whizz up.

The silence lasts only for a few seconds until we're stepping out of the elevator. I think about just leaving it like that – going to bed, let the arena bring what it may tomorrow and accept it.

But I can't.

"There isn't much time. So tell me, is there anything I have to apologise for?" I shake her shoulders a bit, wanting the truth. Her eyes gleam and she looks lost, some place faraway for a fraction of a second, before she replies.

"Nothing."

I feel my body sigh and I let go of her shoulders just as the doors of the elevator open again.

This time Haymitch staggers out, a cross of amusement and horror on his face.

"It's madness out there. Everyone's been sent home and they've cancelled the recap of the interviews on television." He exclaims and points to one of the massive floor to ceiling windows that looks out at the Capitol.

Katniss and I press up against the glass, staring down at the vast crowds covering the streets, twisting around corners. I try to squint and zoom in, seeing mouths open, most likely shouting, but I can't hear what they're saying. I glance at Katniss but she looks at as much of a loss as me.

"What are they saying? Are they asking the President to stop the Games?" I ask Haymitch, hope beginning to bubble in my chest. I stamp it out, knowing it will never happen.

"I don't think they know themselves what to ask. The whole situation is unprecedented. Even the idea of opposing the Capitol's agenda is a source of confusion for the people here. But there's no way Snow would cancel the Games." He pauses, looks directly at me, as if he thinks out of me and the Katniss, I'm the most gullible, "You know that right?"

Before I can shout back a response, Katniss starts. "The others went home?" She peers out the window again, as if trying to find a familiar face in the crowd.

"They were ordered to. I don't know how much luck they're having getting through the mob." Haymitch fidgets with his bracelet as if he has some other place he needs to be. I remember who got that bracelet for him, or at least who gave it to him. And who gave me my own necklace.

"Then we'll never see Effie again." I say as it dawns on me. "You'll give her our thanks." I tell rather than ask Haymitch, feeling guilty for not taking the time to speak to Effie personally beforehand.

Katniss backs me up.

But there's someone else who needs to be bid goodbye. And he's standing in front of us. I open my mouth to start-

"I guess this is where we say our goodbyes as well." Haymitch says, staring at us both.

"Any last words of advice?" I ask, thinking about the times he'd come into my room to devise a plan.

"Stay alive." He grumbles, looking away for a few seconds and I think that maybe he might cry-

"Go to bed. You need your rest." He mumbles in a low voice as he crosses the space between us and very roughly wraps us into his arms for all of a second.

"You take care, Haymitch." I tell him as he lets go and stumbles back, away from us. His hands find the bracelet again, and as Katniss turns to go to her room, he mouths something to me. I don't know what, and when I'm about to ask he shakes his head and calls Katniss.

"When you're in the arena..." He starts and then stops.

"What?" She replies haughtily, clearly expecting some kind of argument to start.

"You just remember who the enemy is. That's all. Now go on. Get out of here." He waves his hand at us and disappears into the elevator.

I struggle to decipher what he'd mouthed to me only seconds ago, but it just looked like a movement of his mouth. But it couldn't have been – that look in his eyes. He was trying to tell me something.

I reluctantly try to break away from Katniss when we reach our doors, thinking I'll take a shower, clear my head but she won't let go of my hand.

Somewhere inside me, I feel like I should be pleased that she wants me in her bed once again. That she wants me there, like I want her with me.

But, no.

I can't think of that right now, not when tomorrow we both face potential death.

I use her shower, and then we slip into bed once again.

Our limbs are tangled and it's hot and the sheets are messily sprawled over us. I feel uncomfortable and tired but I can't get up, can't leave her embrace or her, for that matter. So I lie there, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness, wondering if it's even there anymore. I wouldn't be able to tell in this black atmosphere. But what does a ceiling matter?

A ceiling traps you inside. Just like the arena. Where tomorrow we'll be thrown.

And it feels like Haymitch had an important message for me this evening. That lost word that tumbled from his lips and I missed. Maybe the difference between Katniss' life and her death.

I can feel her awake next to me too, throughout the night. I can tell when she's asleep because her breaths are more relaxed and easy. But when she's awake, her eyes as wide open as mine; her breathing is ragged, like she's experiencing a nightmare in full consciousness.

I know I am.

I must have drifted off at some point, because as the lights flick on and Portia and Cinna appear at the bedside, I know it is morning.

And I'll have to leave.

I rub my eyes tiredly and yawn, retreat from the bed. Katniss rolls out next to me.

I stare at her, looking at her gray eyes like I could just fall into that abyss. And then I lean forward and peck her lips, gently, softly.

She closes her eyes and I stand up straight again.

"See you soon." I murmur into her hair as I kiss the crown of her head too.

"See you soon." She says.


End file.
